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As we enter the new year, I've been reflecting upon which dating royalty will return to the Love Island villa.

Lovers from across the land will be hoping they get the call to be a Love Island All-Star

and share values of kindness, compassion and snogging.

I urge them to love thy neighbour on the next Sun Lounger

and hope that come January 13th on ITB2 and ITBX, love will reign supreme.

Why did the lion cross the road? To get to the other pride.

Oh! If you just read the bio for Dr. Steve,

host of weird medicine on Sirius XM103,

and made popular by two really comedy shows,

Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez,

you would have thought that this guy was a bit

of, you know, a clown. Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to? I've got

diphtheria crushing my esophagus. I've got Tobolivir stripping from my nose. I've got the

leprosy of the heartbound,

exacerbating my imbettable woes.

I want to take my brain out

...