47 - Friday Fix: Ask Yourself This Question and You'll Be Kinder to Yourself

The Verywell Mind Podcast

Dotdash Media Inc.

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Mental Health, Education

5 • 703 Ratings

🗓️ 12 February 2021

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The way you talk to yourself matters. Your inner dialogue can either inspire and motivate you to do your best or it can be the one thing that stands between you and living your best life. For some reason, we think harsh self-criticism will help us do better. We’re afraid to cut ourselves some slack or to use kind words after we’ve messed up. We call ourselves names, put ourselves down, and try to talk ourselves out of doing hard things. But a harsh inner critic does more harm than good. Studies consistently show self-compassion is the key to feeling and doing your best. So today I’m sharing a question that can help you treat yourself with more kindness. Just ask yourself this one thing to develop a healthier inner dialogue. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Very Well Mind podcast. We've interviewed over 100 authors, experts, entrepreneurs, athletes, musicians, and others to help you learn strategies to care for your mental health.
0:22.9	This episode is hosted by psychotherapist and bestselling author Amy Morin. Now let's get into the episode.
0:46.9	Okay. You're listening to the Friday fix.
0:54.5	Every Friday, I share a quick mental strength exercise that will help you fix the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that drain you of the mental strength you need to be your best. Now let's dive into today's episode. Do people ever tell you
1:00.6	that you're too hard on yourself? Do you call yourself names? Do you ever beat yourself up
1:06.1	when you make a mistake? If so, you could benefit from developing more self-compassion. Self-compassion is basically
1:13.3	the same as saying self-kindness. It has to do with how nice you are in terms of how you think about
1:18.7	yourself and how you choose to act or take care of yourself. I'm tackling this subject because the way
1:24.4	you talk to yourself matters in more ways than you might think.
1:28.3	In a minute, I'll share a quick exercise that will help you develop more self-compassion.
1:32.9	But before I do, let me explain why self-compassion is so important.
1:38.2	There are tons of research studies that show self-compassion has tons of benefits.
1:43.6	I'm going to go through just a few of those benefits right now. Number one, self-compassion has tons of benefits. I'm going to go through just a few of those
1:45.1	benefits right now. Number one, self-compassion increases motivation to do better. For some reason,
1:52.1	we tend to think that being really critical of ourselves is somehow going to be helpful.
1:57.3	But studies consistently show that self-compassion is much more motivating than self-criticism.
2:03.1	In one study, researchers examined the self-talk of college students after they fail the test.
2:08.2	One group with students called themselves names and put themselves down for failing.
2:12.5	The other group tended to use a more self-compassionate approach.
2:16.0	They reminded themselves that they could study harder
2:17.9	next time, that they could do better, and that it was just one test. Well, all of the students were
2:22.7	able to retake the test. The students who called themselves names or told themselves that they were
	...

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