468 - Vanessa Van Edwards - The Secret Language To Charismatic Communication (Cues)

The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

Ryan Hawk

Careers, Management, Business

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 17 April 2022

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Text Hawk to 66866 for "Mindful Monday." A carefully curated email you'll receive each Monday to help you start your week off right.

Full shownotes at www.LearningLeader.com

Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12 https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12

Vanessa Van Edwards is the Lead Investigator at Science of People. She is the bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People, translated into 16 languages. More than 50 million people watch her engaging YouTube tutorials and TEDx Talk. Vanessa works with entrepreneurs, growing businesses, and trillion-dollar companies; and has been featured on CNN, BBC, CBS Mornings, Fast Company, Inc. Magazine, USA Today, Entrepreneur Magazine, The Today Show, and many more. Her latest book is called Cues: Master The Secret Language of Charismatic Communication.

Notes:

Cues - It’s about warmth and competence. Can I trust you? Can I rely on you? – How are you showing others warmth and competence?
Dr. Kofi Essel - His non-verbal protocol for warmth:
- Fronting - He angles his toes, torso, and head towards the person. Be in alignment with the patient.
- Non-Verbal bridges - Slowly warm someone up. Lean in.
In your 1 on 1 meetings, remove all barriers between you and the person. Show them 100% focus.
- If you see someone gazing over your head, look where they’re looking. It will help make them aware of what they're doing.
Question Inflection - From the Ring founder when he pitched on Shark Tank. This is something that a lot of us mess up. When stating a fact, SAY IT, don’t ask it.
The 4 modes of communication:
- Nonverbal
- Verbal - Syntax
- Vocal
- Imagery
Touch – A group of researchers at UC Berkeley watched the first 3 games of the NBA finals in the 2008-2009 season and counted every single time players were seen touching on camera. They found the team that touched the most, won the most games. Touches = higher trust
Speed dating research – Followed 144-speed dates and found that postural expansiveness was the most romantically appealing trait. Participants who took up more space were 76% more likely to be chosen for future dates.
Want to show someone they matter? That you’re listening? Turning toward is tuning in.
Zoom Calls – How do we best approach them? - Look into the camera so the other person feels you are looking them in the eye.
Disney teaches all of their employees (from janitors to princesses) specific nonverbal cues to use with guests. And they all embody the pinnacle of warmth…

“Being a highlighter is about constantly searching for the good in people. When you tell people they are good, they become better. When you search for what’s good, you feel great.”
“When you try to be the same as everyone else, it’s boring. When you try to fit into a mold, you become forgettable. When you try to be “normal,” you become dull. Just be yourself, because no one is like you. If you’re a little weird, own it. The right people will like you for it.”
“Vulnerability is sexy—it shows we are relatable, honest, and real. That is attractive. And the science proves it: “A blunder tends to humanize him and, consequently, increases his attractiveness.”
“Humans are purpose-driven creatures. We want to believe there are reasons behind everything we do. Before leaders can inspire action, they have to get emotional buy-in. When we explain the motivations behind a goal, it allows listeners to feel partial ownership of that goal.”

Transcript

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0:00.4	This episode is brought to you by Marketing Architects. Marketing Architects believes performance
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0:48.3	Read how other brands use TV to transform their businesses and how you can do the same.
0:55.9	Go to marketingarchitects.com slash book to get your free copy today.
1:06.0	Welcome to the Learning Leader Show presented by Incycloble. I am your host, Ryan Hawke.
1:14.7	Thank you so much for being here. Text Hawke to 66866 to become part of Mindful Monday.
1:24.0	You, along with tens of thousands of other learning leaders from all over the world,
1:28.9	will receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your
1:35.4	week off right. You'll also receive details about how my new book, The Pursuit of Excellence,
1:42.5	will help you become a more effective leader. Text Hawke to 66866. Now on to tonight's
1:52.1	featured leader, Hula, a great one. Vanessa Van Edward, best-selling author of Captivate,
1:57.9	the science of succeeding with people. Her TED Talks and YouTube tutorials have been viewed more
2:04.9	than 50 million times. She's been featured on CNN, the BBC, and the Today Show, among many
2:11.8	others, her latest book is blowing up right now. Just hit the bestseller list. It's called
2:17.6	Q's. Master, the secret language of charismatic communication. During this conversation, we discuss
2:25.7	how to run better one-on-one meetings with the people who report to you. And then the mistakes
2:33.1	made on Shark Tank by a founder that eventually sold his business for over $8 billion,
2:40.7	and what we can learn from the mistakes he made. And then how to quickly connect with someone
	...

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