#462 - Feeling Sexually Rejected By Your Partner? Here’s What to Do…
Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
4.6 • 849 Ratings
🗓️ 21 July 2025
⏱️ 49 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
“Why doesn’t my partner want me?” — If that question has ever kept you up at night, this one’s for you.
Lately, I’ve been hearing from so many of you that this topic — what to do when your partner rejects you sexually — is really on your hearts and minds. And I get it. It’s such a vulnerable, tender pain point that touches on self-worth, connection, and love.
Whether it’s happened once or it’s become a painful pattern, feeling sexually rejected can stir up everything from shame and anxiety to resentment and loneliness. That’s why I wanted to bring back this powerful episode — because the guidance here is so helpful, and it’s something I want you to have access to when you need it most.
In this episode of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast, I’m joined by my brilliant colleague and sex therapist Dori to talk openly (and compassionately!) about what’s really going on behind those “not tonight” moments — and what you can do to heal the hurt, reconnect with your partner, and bring intimacy back into your relationship in a way that feels good for both of you.
We’ll walk you through the emotional impact of rejection, common myths about sex and desire, how to communicate with love and honesty, and actionable strategies to reconnect both emotionally and physically. You’ll leave this episode with insight and tools to navigate sexual rejection with grace, strength, and clarity.
Timestamps:
01:13 – Why Rejection Feels So Personal
02:29 – Understanding the Emotional Fallout
05:57 – Gender, Expectations, and Sexual Scripts
13:16 – The Body Image Trap
18:09 – When It’s Not Really Rejection
21:33 – Why Planning for Intimacy Matters
24:21 – Nonsexual Touch: A Game-Changer
24:53 – Talking About Sex Without Shame
25:18 – What “Responsive Desire” Means
25:45 – Designing a Sex-Positive Life Together
30:12 – Hug Me, Don’t Just Want Me
32:24 – Loving Boundaries & Body Autonomy
35:40 – The Avoidance Spiral
38:25 – Intimacy Beyond Intercourse
44:54 – When It’s Time to Get Help
If you're feeling disconnected, uncertain, or hurt in your relationship — especially around intimacy, I totally get it. It’s hard to talk about these things, and even harder to know what’s really going on beneath the surface.
I created a free research-backed tool to help you get some clarity: How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz. It’s a thoughtful, science-backed assessment designed to give you clarity on your strengths, your growth areas, and what to focus on for a more connected, satisfying partnership. I hope you check it out!
Let’s stay connected! You can find me here on Instagram and YouTube for more free resources and updates on new episodes of Love, Happiness & Success. Together, we’re creating healthier, happier relationships — one conversation at a time.
Xoxo
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
www.growingself.com
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, and you're listening to the Love, Happiness, and Success |
| 0:07.1 | podcast. Any kind of rejection stings, but when you're feeling rejected in the bedroom, |
| 0:13.7 | it's especially hard. How to handle feeling sexually rejected by your partner? That's what we're talking about on today's show. |
| 0:27.8 | I have chosen this La Femme song for us today. It's called Francois. And I think it kind of sets the mood, sets the tone for that, that weird combination of |
| 0:41.4 | loneliness and longing when you are wanting to be with your partner, but feeling like it's |
| 0:48.6 | just never the right time, you're not sure what to do or how to connect. I think LaFem understands you. I think LaFemme |
| 0:58.2 | knows how you feel. So you can get more LaFemm in your life. They're on tour currently, so you can |
| 1:05.2 | learn more about that. Buy your tickets. Check out their music on the bandcamp page, lafem.bancamp.com. |
| 1:12.6 | On today's episode of the podcast, we are covering a very important topic. |
| 1:19.1 | One, though, that is really under-discussed. |
| 1:21.8 | And that is how to deal with perceived sexual rejection in your relationship. |
| 1:30.8 | Now, something that everybody has dealt with in a long-term relationship sooner or later |
| 1:37.3 | is feeling like you and your partner are a little bit out of sync sexually, right? |
| 1:42.5 | Of course, you have a lot in common with your partner, |
| 1:45.2 | you love them, but it would actually be weird if you are always perfectly aligned all the time |
| 1:51.6 | around your interest for sexuality. And maybe even you might have some differences in things that |
| 1:57.9 | you enjoy in the bedroom and just energy levels, differences |
| 2:01.5 | and desire. There could be so many things that go into this. So even though at the beginning |
| 2:07.7 | of a relationship, there might be high interest on both sides and you might be intimate frequently, |
| 2:14.4 | life tends to, over time, kind of get in the way, right? Most couples go through |
| 2:20.0 | phases of having more sex, having less sex, and sometimes even having no sex at all, |
| 2:26.6 | depending on your life circumstances at that moment. So all definitely within the range of normal. |
... |
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