461: Relationship mistakes, conversation starters & the science of make-up sex | John Gottman, Ph.D. & Julie Gottman, Ph.D.

The mindbodygreen Podcast

mindbodygreen

Alternative Health, Health & Fitness

4.5 • 2.1K Ratings

🗓️ 19 December 2022

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Julie Gottman, Ph.D. & John Gottman, Ph.D.: “Touch is as essential to our well-being as food, water, and exercise.” The Gottmans, renowned psychologists, co-founders of the Gottman Institute, and the world’s leading experts in the study of relationships, join mbg co-CEO, Jason Wachob, to discuss little things you can do to secure a long-term relationship, plus: - New challenges many couples face (~01:08) - The power of touch for overall well-being (~03:18) - Little things to do on a daily basis to connect with your partner (~06:38) - Why compliments are crucial for successful relationships (~12:09) - How family trauma impacts your ability to find love (~18:58) - The most common mistakes people make in relationships (~24:11) - Essential ingredients for long-lasting relationships (~27:22) - The importance of weekly date nights (~29:22) - How to have meaningful conversations with your partner (~31:17) - How to have a discussion about your sex life (~35:28) - What role sex actually plays in a relationship (~38:09) - Why some people have affairs (~43:41) - What you can do today to ensure everlasting love (~46:34) Referenced in the episode: - The Gottmans' book, The Love Prescription. - Check out the Gottman Institute. - mbg Podcast episode #320, with the Gottmans. - Harry Harlow monkey study. - The Gottmans' study on newlyweds and bids for connection. - Check out Robert Levinson's research. - A study showing couples underestimate positive experiences 50% of the time. - Check out the Gottmans' Open-Ended Card Decks. - The Normal Bar. - Not "Just Friends". - Sign up for The Long Game. Take 20% off our holiday collection with code HOLIDAY20. Cannot combine with gift cards or other discount codes. Apply code at checkout. We hope you enjoy this episode, and feel free to watch the full video on YouTube! Whether it's an article or podcast, we want to know what we can do to help here at mindbodygreen. Let us know at: podcast@mindbodygreen.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the MyBuddyGreen podcast. I'm Jason Wackeb, founder and co-CEO of MyBuddyGreen and your host.
0:30.0	Thank you so much. We're happy to be here.
0:32.6	So great to see you both. So great to have you back on the show. You are living legends in the
0:38.4	relationship space, arguably the world's leading experts. So always great to see you and fantastic
0:45.1	to see another book from you. This one titled The Love Prescription, which I really enjoy. So
0:51.4	great to see you. Thank you so much. That's a very generous introduction. Thank you.
0:58.2	You have earned it. And, you know, I think we last spoke about a year and a half ago and I'm
1:03.7	curious, a lot's changed in the world. What's changed in your life since that?
1:08.8	Oh, good question. Well, we did have a grandson. So some people get a puppy during COVID. We got a
1:15.3	grandson. And it's been fantastic. So we're in ecstasy most of the time. We're in love.
1:25.1	Right. It's really been fun. He's a great little boy.
1:29.2	Congratulations. Congratulations. And I'm curious in terms of the relationship space.
1:37.3	What's changed in terms of one, the challenges that couples face?
1:43.8	Yeah, you know, what seems to be the case is that during COVID, when people especially were
1:51.2	quarantining, the good relationships actually got much better because people have more time
1:57.4	together to really celebrate being together. But the folks who were beginning that period of time
2:05.4	with some distress got much worse. And as we've heard in the news, there's lots more mental health
2:13.2	problems, depression, there's more suicidality. And we're sadly seeing the same thing in couples
2:21.6	relationships where people are trying to find their way in a very different world. They don't
2:31.5	necessarily have the tools to connect with one another and move through that journey together.
2:38.6	And it's causing more conflict and more pain and even more breakup.
2:44.1	More domestic violence. Right. Yeah.
	...

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