If you are single or you're dating and you're frustrated and you want to call in your person,

you're like, man, what's wrong with me that I keep attracting these unavailable people or this other

type of person, but that's not what I want. Why do I run from available people? Okay, listen,

there's nothing wrong with you that you do that. And so when you recognize that you're unconsciously

pursuing a certain type of relationship dynamic, you know that. And so when you recognize that you're unconsciously pursuing a certain type of

relationship dynamic, you know that it's from a protective mechanism because if you were to choose,

for example, available people, you now have to open your heart. You wouldn't be able to predict

what's going to happen because you can predict that with an unavailable person, you're never going to

go all the way there. You're never going to go as deep as you're capable of because you're afraid because what lives

next to the depth is pain.

And if you think about it, even if you avoid relationships, you're like, I'm not going to date

anymore.

I'm not going to relate anymore.

I'm just dumb with relationships.

What happens is the wound and the pain that creates that perspective is festering and

living in your life because it's actually preventing you from getting close to people again.

If you continue to choose unavailable people, what's happening is the wound is ruling your life.

And what I do know is when people go deep into the exploration of this, they understand where

the pattern comes from, right? Like you go to where did I learn that and why do I do that?

That's great.

That gives you understanding.

But the rubber really hits the road when you make different choices.

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