453: An Ace Therapist Gives Dan A Run For His Money | Dr. Jacob Ham

10% Happier with Dan Harris

10% Media, LLC

Dan Harris, Health & Fitness, Mindfulness, Dharma, Mental Health, Meditation

4.6 • 12.2K Ratings

🗓️ 25 May 2022

⏱️ 70 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Sometimes part of healing trauma means learning how to be human.

This episode is the last episode of our Mental Health Reboot series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month. Dr. Jacob Ham, who was introduced in Stephanie Foo’s episode earlier this week, helped Stephanie through her case of complex PTSD and discusses how to live with the hardest things that have happened to you.

Dr. Ham is the Director of the Center for Child Trauma and Resilience and Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. He sees children, youth, adults, and families across the age range and for a variety of issues.

In this episode we talk about:

What Dr. Ham says may be the “most important thing he’s discovered” as a therapist
Why he shuts down his clients’ attempts to intellectualize their experiences
Kairos versus kronos
Why Dr. Ham says the Incredible Hulk is so important to him
The concept of mentalization
What it means to love exquisitely
And whether or not we have to learn to love ourselves before we can learn to love others

Content Warning: Explicit language.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	This is the 10% Happier Podcast.
0:05.9	I'm Dan Harris.
0:09.0	Okay, hello.
0:12.6	Today's interviewee truly gave me a run for my money, not because he was trying to be
0:18.1	a pain in the butt, at least I don't think so, but because he really resists giving overly
0:23.5	simplified answers.
0:25.1	But because as you will hear, he's in the habit of asking people questions about what is
0:30.4	really behind their questions.
0:32.4	Again, I really don't think this was him trying to be difficult.
0:35.4	I think it's that he's trying to model how to actually listen to other people, how to
0:41.1	be attuned, or in other words, how to be a functioning human.
0:46.4	Part of his job, as you will hear him admit, and these are my words, not his, is to teach
0:51.4	his patience how to be human.
0:54.4	And while most of us will never actually be patients of Dr. Jacob Haam, just listening
0:59.3	to him, I believe, will help you do life better.
1:02.8	We're going to talk about some fascinating stuff today with Dr. Haam, who is a legendary
1:06.5	therapist, including what he says may be the most important thing he has discovered as
1:11.6	a therapist, why he shuts down his clients' attempts to intellectualize their experiences,
1:18.2	Kairos versus Kronos.
1:20.6	Those may sound like Marvel characters, but they're actually Greek terms for our relationship
1:25.2	to time.
1:26.2	Speaking of Marvel, though, we are going to talk to Dr. Haam about why he says the incredible
	...

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