451 SelfWork: Why and How to Stop Using Therapy-Misspeak
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.7 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 20 June 2025
⏱️ 25 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Therapy-misspeak – overusing the terms used by psychologists and doctors and therapists – has blown up in recent years. Words that are used in the mental health world to diagnose or describe certain mental illnesses or traits of mental illnesses have become part of everyday language. But not in a good or accurate way.
The trend seems to be leading… not to better mental health – but to a dilution of the actual pain or hardship that is mental illness as well as to hinder you learning how to talk more plainly about your emotions or experiences.
Things to remember about therapy-misspeak:
- Not all jerks are narcissists.
- No one has one day where you have bipolar disorder or OCD.
- A reaction isn’t a trigger.
- Getting hurt isn’t necessarily trauma. It’s important but it’s not necessarily traumatic.
- Imposter syndrome isn’t the same as feeling initially overwhelmed by something you’re trying to do or become.
- Self-care isn’t as powerful as self-respect.
- Borderline isn’t you feeling out of control.
- Panic is more than feeling anxious.
- And toxic? Poisons are toxic. And maybe something is poisoning you. But you’ll grow a lot more if you describe what feels poisonous to you.
Today’s listener question isn’t a question. I was very touched by the words this listener wanted me to hear – and told her so.
Vital Links:
HuffPost piece: “Dealing with a narcissist” - all jerks aren't narcissists.
Early SelfWork Episode on narcissism
Research article on therapy-misspeak
The Instagram account of Raquel the capacity expert
Advertisers Links:
Click HERE for the NEW GEN offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!
Find out what your "true age" is! Go to https://trudiagnostic.com/selfwork to sign up and get a discount for being a SelfWork listener!
Manage your hormones with the help of Happy Mammoth, a leader in women's health! Go to https://happymammoth.com/selfwork to order!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
There’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
* Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | This is self-work, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:10.3 | At self-work, we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them, |
| 0:15.7 | whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment. |
| 0:21.3 | Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you who might already be |
| 0:26.1 | knowledgeable about middle health treatment, but also to those of you who might say you'd never |
| 0:31.3 | darken the door of a therapist. And yet, you are here. I'll answer your questions while I invite |
| 0:37.1 | you to take a few minutes for your |
| 0:39.1 | own self-work. But we all need to learn to regulate emotions. That's not shutting them off |
| 0:46.9 | or down, and it's certainly not aggravating them. It's managing them so they're not overwhelming, |
| 0:56.6 | but are informational and even helpful. |
| 1:04.3 | Even if they're unpleasant to feel, you can gain a huge sense of competence when you're able to feel and manage and work through your emotions. |
| 1:08.5 | Welcome to this week's edition of self-work. |
| 1:13.4 | It seems that therapy speak, the words used by psychologists and doctors and therapists, it's kind of blown up in recent years. Some people are calling it therapy misspeak. |
| 1:18.9 | What is it? It's words that are either used in the mental health world to diagnose or describe |
| 1:24.6 | certain mental illnesses or traits of mental illnesses. But somehow these words have |
| 1:29.4 | become part of everyday language to describe things, or frankly, to justify or even defend actions |
| 1:36.4 | or attitudes, or to label. They're way overused and are often doing more harm than good. |
| 1:43.8 | Today, I want to talk about what I've seen |
| 1:45.8 | over the years. I also want to explain what some of these terms actually mean and how they're being |
| 1:50.5 | bastardized by a movement that I think started out great because it was all about, we've got to talk |
| 1:55.3 | about mental health more, but there's been a bit of an overcorrection, as movements often do. |
| 2:01.8 | And now some people are shrouding or labeling their experience of themselves or others |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.