Have you ever been told that, well, relationships take work?

I am here to tell you that that is about the worst relationship advice I have ever heard,

and I say this as a professional marriage counselor.

It's a trade-off. How much fun are you having?

How much love do you want to have?

I think that no relationships thrive when people treat them like a chore, honestly.

I think this is a one-way ticket to misery.

And today I'm going to show you why and instead how to build a joyful, connected relationship that is based on fun, positivity, even pleasure without the drudgery.

So let's dive right in.

To begin with, the reason why this concept of relationships or work takes such a toll on them, paradoxically, is

like just to think about this, what do you want your partner to feel about their time with

you?

For your partner to say, it is with great effort that I'm being kind to you right now.

Or, well, I don't really want to hang out with you,

but I know that I have to because relationships take work. So yuck, right? Relationships should be

fun, not a grind. And the truth is one of the quickest ways to improve your connection is not through

hard work, not like white knuckling it, forcing yourself to be nice to your partner. It's actually

by learning how to reconnect through positivity and even playfulness. So here's the first big shift I'd like you to consider.

Just stop using this language around relationships or work and stop thinking about your

relationship as something that you need to work on. Instead, replace this with a new idea, which is,

what do I want my relationship to feel like? I mean, think about it. You know, most people,

probably you too, want love, connection, happiness, fun, pleasure, enjoyment in their relationships. And so having a better

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