426: How to Find Purpose and Not Regret Your Life with Jordan Grumet

The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

Robert Duff, Ph.D.

Health & Fitness, Robertduff, Education, Duffthepsych, Mental Health, Psychology, Selfhelp, Advice, Drduff

4.6 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 10 January 2025

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this inspiring episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Jordan Grumet, a hospice director, author, and podcast host, to explore how we can transform our lives by embracing the concept of “little p purpose.” Dr. Grumet shares insights from his latest book, The Purpose Code, which offers actionable strategies to uncover and build a meaningful life, regardless of your circumstances.

Our conversation dives deep into the difference between “big P Purpose” (society’s lofty, often unattainable ideals) and “little p purpose” (daily actions that bring joy and meaning). Dr. Grumet shares his personal journey—from losing his father at a young age to becoming a physician driven by unresolved trauma, to ultimately finding fulfillment by pursuing his passions for writing, speaking, and connecting with others.

Key takeaways from our discussion include practical ways to recognize your purpose anchors, how to turn regrets into motivations, and why pursuing joy in small, intentional ways can lead to profound impact and lasting legacy. We also explore how Dr. Grumet’s work in hospice has shaped his understanding of what truly matters in life, highlighting lessons from those at the end of their journeys.

This episode is packed with wisdom for anyone feeling stuck, searching for meaning, or simply looking to live with more intentionality and joy.

Sponsor
This episode is brought to you by NOCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you're caught in an endless loop of “what-ifs” or struggling with obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, NOCD offers specialized, evidence-based therapy designed just for OCD—Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). They accept many major insurance plans, making it accessible and affordable, with support available between therapy sessions.

Take the first step by visiting https://www.nocd.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Plus, check out my interview with Dr. Patrick McGrath, NOCD’s Chief Clinical Officer, on episode 406 of this podcast to learn more about OCD and their approach.

Chapters:

00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Jordan Grumet
02:00 — Finding Purpose After Loss: Dr. Grumet’s Early Life
06:15 — Purpose Anchors: Joyful Work vs. Goal-Oriented Burnout
10:45 — Lessons from the Hospice Life Review
16:30 — Regrets of the Dying: Turning Regret into Action
20:00 — Building Purpose When You Feel Stuck
24:15 — Tools and Levers: Joy of Addition and Art of Subtraction
30:00 — The Difference Between Meaning and Purpose
37:00 — How Small Joys Create Big Impact and Legacy
44:15 — Practical Steps to Start Building a Purposeful Life
50:30 — Final Takeaways: Finding Your Purpose Anchors

About the Podcast
I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. Each episode dives deep into mental health, personal development, and strategies for living authentically and fulfilling your potential.

Guest Links

Dr. Grumet’s Website: https://jordangrumet.com
The Purpose Code: https://jordangrumet.com/books
Podcast: https://www.earnandinvest.com/episodes

Connect With Me:

Website: https://duffthepsych.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
YouTube: https://youtube.com/duffthepsych

#MentalHealth #Purpose #PersonalDevelopment #Legacy #SelfHelp #Mindfulness

Transcript

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0:00.0	So here's what I've seen, and I really learned this from the dying, is almost no one on their deathbed says, I wish I made more money.
0:06.3	Like, my net worth was $500,000 when I died, and I really wish it was a million.
0:09.8	No one says it.
0:11.1	No one says, I wish I spent more nights or weekends on the job.
0:15.2	In fact, rarely do people talk about their jobs.
0:17.8	What people really regret is that they never had the energy, courage,
0:21.1	or time to do the things that were deeply important to them. And here's the problem with time.
0:26.4	You can't buy it. You can't sell it. You can't trade it. The only thing you can do is have a
0:31.6	modicum of control of what activities you're involved with as time passes. So here's winning the
0:37.3	game. Win winning the game.
0:38.0	Winning the game over a lifetime
0:39.7	is getting rid of as many things you loathe
0:41.8	and replacing it with as many things you love.
0:45.5	And that's how you win.
0:47.2	The biggest question I get is,
0:48.6	how do I find my purpose?
0:50.0	Well, when you realize you don't have to find it,
0:51.6	you build and create it,
0:52.4	all you really need to know
0:53.5	are those inklings and those beckonings.
0:55.5	There are basic steps, and we can take these steps and build a life of purpose around them.
1:00.4	It is simple. It might not be easy. You're going to have to do the work. It's a very active process. simple, but a lot of us don't really understand that. And so that was really the goal of this
	...

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