411: Reparenting and Attachment with Dr. Judy Ho
The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych
Robert Duff, Ph.D.
4.6 • 1K Ratings
🗓️ 23 August 2024
⏱️ 62 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Breaking Cycles: How Attachment Shapes Our Lives with Dr. Judy Ho
In this episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, host Dr. Duff interviews neuropsychologist Dr. Judy Ho, a tenured professor at Pepperdine University and author of 'The New Rules of Attachment.' They discuss why people often find themselves stuck in repetitive cycles despite different strategies and self-care routines. Dr. Ho explains the significance of revisiting one's past to break patterns, diving deep into attachment theory. They explore how early attachments form who we are, why it's essential to recognize childhood traumas, and the role of self-talk in attachment styles. Dr. Ho also shares her personal parenting insights and the importance of forming a secure attachment with oneself. Additionally, they delve into actionable exercises from Dr. Ho's book that help uncover unmet needs of our inner child and promote lasting change. Tune in for an in-depth conversation about the transformative power of understanding and healing our attachments.
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This episode is also sponsored by BetterHelp – get 10% off your first month of online therapy at http://betterhelp.com/duff
Links!
https://www.amazon.com/New-Rules-Attachment-Relationships-Reparent/dp/1538741423
https://www.instagram.com/drjudyho
00:00 Introduction: Breaking the Cycle
00:40 Meet Dr. Judy Ho
01:14 The Importance of Early Attachments
02:46 Personal Stories and Apologies
05:47 Journey into Psychology
18:10 Understanding Attachment Styles
30:11 Understanding Attachment Styles and Self-Talk
31:27 The Challenge of Changing Self-Talk
32:26 The Importance of Patience in Forming New Habits
33:14 Recognizing Overthinking and OCD
35:07 The Mind-Body Connection in Attachment
37:25 Inner Child Work and Self-Attachment
40:22 Practical Steps for Inner Child Healing
44:45 A Real-Life Transformation Story
53:22 Balancing Career and Personal Life
57:04 Parenting and Attachment
01:00:08 Looking Ahead: Future Plans and Reflections
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Do you ever find that you're stuck in the same cycle no matter how many times you try to change? |
| 0:04.5 | Today we're going to talk about the reason why you try strategy after strategy and wind up right back at square one. |
| 0:10.0 | I think more and more people are noticing like oh it's great to learn these strategies implement |
| 0:14.7 | them talk about self-care etc but I find that a lot of people will kind of keep going in |
| 0:20.1 | circle so yeah they have better coping strategies but they keep |
| 0:22.9 | finding themselves in similar situations that are difficult and |
| 0:26.9 | challenging. They keep getting into relationships with the people who |
| 0:30.3 | invalidate them, you know, and yeah, they can deal with it better, but why do they |
| 0:35.0 | keep going into that same cycle over and over again? |
| 0:38.2 | This is the Hardcore Self-Help Podcast. |
| 0:39.8 | I'm your host, Dr. Deaf, and today I have an awesome interview with Dr. Judy Ho. |
| 0:43.7 | She's focused for years about teaching people skills to better themselves than therapy. |
| 0:48.0 | Until she realized that sometimes skills aren't enough, you actually need to dig a bit deeper. |
| 0:52.1 | CBT, Dialectable Behavior Therapy. aren't enough. You actually need to dig a bit deeper. |
| 0:53.0 | CBT, dialectial behavior therapy, acceptance to commitment therapy. |
| 0:56.7 | That's been my whole deal. |
| 0:59.2 | But yeah, over time, I just realize if you don't revisit the past at least a little bit, you're not going to break those patterns going forward. |
| 1:08.6 | And I think that that's what got me more interested and diving in deeper to attachment theory. I hope you stay tuned for this |
| 1:15.6 | interview because today we're going to talk about how our early attachments shape who we are, |
| 1:20.3 | why you might feel stuck in cycles and what it takes to make lasting change. |
| 1:23.8 | I said, you know, just imagine your adult self sitting next to your inner child and asking, |
| 1:27.5 | what do you need and like that's the only question that you need to ask and then you just wait, |
... |
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