405: How to Be Loving to Ourselves which Allows Us to Heal

The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style

Shannon Ables

Education, Self-improvement, Britain, Contentment, Podcast, Society & Culture, Simplicity, France, Style, Lifestyle

4.7 • 915 Ratings

🗓️ 4 June 2025

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

"Love has the shape and feel of water. It is simultaneously flexible and powerful. It can adapt and roar; it can also be silently nourishing." –Yung Pueblo, How to Love Better

We know we need to heal when we slip into being defensive, reactive or regress into any self-protecting behavior - anger, aggressiveness - passive or active. When we cling to perfection at all costs, avoid emotions especially during difficult times, have co-dependent relationships (i.e are unable to be alone for any duration of time), agree to whatever is asked of us whether we are truly able to or not, crave external validation, are highly self-critical and never feel we are enough, the list goes on, but these are many of the more common everyday signs to take note of and thus feel a nudge to discover how to heal. (check out the full list here)

The love we seek, love that is liberating and simultaneously instills a feeling of being at home within yourself, feeling accepted for your full and amazing self that you are. A feeling of both being safe and also energized to explore, grow and discover new ahas, begins with being loving to ourselves.

Without loving who we are, which requires that we truly know who we are, we cannot build a loving relationship with others, any type of relationship, not just romantic.

Today's episode is inspired by a new book written by Yung Pueblo, How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion. A book that he shares is about romantic relationships, but all that he shares can be applied to any relationship. Knowing this, I began to read it, and the first half of the book, ironically and wisely, is not about other relationships at all. It is all about the relationship between yourself and you, how to thrive and thus how to heal so that you can be loving to yourself and then loving to others.

If any of the items in the list shared above spoke to you or you recognized them in your patterns of how you live life currently and you want to change, you want to grow out of them and understand why you default to them, then this is the episode for you. Let's heal, and then let's learn how to assess whether we've healed or not.

Find the Show Notes for episode #405 on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast405

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the simple sophisticate, where in 2014, this podcast premiered.
0:09.2	And now in its 11th season, the show continues to focus on the same principles it was founded upon.
0:15.3	The art of living a life of quality over quantity.
0:19.0	Topics range from creating an everyday life you love living,
0:22.2	strengthening mindfulness practices, building a capsule wardrobe,
0:26.1	preparing seasonally delicious meals,
0:28.4	traveling and exploring France and Britain,
0:30.9	and living life to the fullest without breaking the bank,
0:34.5	because living well really is quite simple. I'm your host, Shannon Ables,
0:40.1	and whether you're listening on your commute, exercising, working in the garden in route,
0:44.7	or returning from that dream destination, or sitting down with a hot cuppa or a cafe
0:50.5	au lae, thank you for tuning in. Let's get started. Welcome to the 405th episode of the
1:02.2	simple sophisticate. And today's topic is about love, but through a different direction,
1:08.5	I guess we could say, because we're going to start with
1:11.1	how to be loving to ourselves, which then allows us to heal whatever we uniquely,
1:18.0	individually have to heal, so that then we can be loving and make loving connections,
1:25.1	healthy connections with all other people in our lives.
1:29.6	So whatever the type of relationship we are seeking, whether it's stronger friendships,
1:33.5	better family relations, better collegial relations, better acquaintance relationships.
1:39.2	And then of course, romantic relationships, we can be and do all of those things,
1:46.6	but we have to start with being loving to ourselves and heal ourselves. So that's what we're going to talk about today.
1:51.9	And then at the end of our episode, as always, per usual, our Petit Plezier, is actually
	...

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