#399: The Shadow Side of "Goodness" | Part 1

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Education, Relationships, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture

4.9 • 5K Ratings

🗓️ 15 August 2024

⏱️ 14 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, we dive into the complexities of the often-hidden, manipulative aspects of goodness and niceness within relationships. While these traits are typically seen as virtuous, they can sometimes stem from low self-worth and a deep need for validation, ultimately breeding mistrust. We explore the dynamics of people-pleasing, its connection to resentment, and the critical importance of setting healthy boundaries to disrupt patterns that impede personal growth and authentic connection. Additionally, we examine codependency and how it distorts our understanding of love and support. Tune in for a thought-provoking discussion on recognizing your own relational patterns, the societal impact of perceived goodness, and ways to cultivate healthier, more genuine relationships rooted in mutual respect. Resources: —Join My Online Community: http://markgroves.com/aligned —Get My New Book! Liberated Love - Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire: https://markgroves.com/book —Explore My Courses: https://markgroves.com/courses Follow me and my work here: —Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/markgrovestv —Subscribe to my Newsletter: https://markgroves.com/newsletter —Subscribe to my Substack: https://markgroves.substack.com Find an archive of my work here: —Instagram - @createthelove: https://www.instagram.com/createthelove —Facebook - @createthelove: https://www.facebook.com/createthelove If you want to dive deeper into my content, search through every episode, find specific topics I've covered, and ask me questions, go to my Dexa page: https://dexa.ai/markgroves Themes: People Pleasing, Authenticity, Belonging, Relationships, Manipulation, Goodness, Kindness, Niceness, Low Self-Worth, Validation, Mistrust, Boundaries, Codependency, Personal Growth, Authentic Connections, Relational Patterns, Mutual Respect, Interdependence Drop us a note at [email protected] for sponsor product support, questions, comments, guest suggestions, or just to say hello! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	The reason that nice guys finish last but in the context of nice in relationship when it's contrived when it's manipulative is because you can't trust it.
0:08.7	So unconsciously it's actually very unattractive. It's unattractive because it comes with this like I need you to
0:15.5	validate who I am and my worth and that's why I'm doing all these things and if you reject me
0:20.8	well you better watch out.
0:22.8	But first, these messages.
0:25.2	Hello and welcome to another episode
0:27.4	of the Mark Grove's podcast.
0:29.0	Today I want to talk to you about the Shadow Side of Goodness,
0:32.4	and the Shadow Side of goodness and the shadow side of goodness on an
0:34.9	interpersonal level and how goodness kindness niceness all these things can be they can
0:41.7	have a real dark side to them. And the hard part about recognizing the dark
0:46.0	side of these behaviors, especially within ourselves, is they masquerade as positive, right?
0:51.6	They masquerade as being about bringing positivity to the world and light and helping everyone heal and I'm just like I works hard of that and I just love everybody all out. I do so much for everybody and yet it can be a real shadow.
1:07.2	It can be a real darkness. I want to contextualize that because of course you might identify as someone who is nice and there's nothing wrong with being nice.
1:18.0	But there's the recognition that kindness sometimes is contrived.
1:22.0	Kindness sometimes is contrived. Kindness sometimes is manipulative.
1:24.5	So I'm going to speak both to being the person
1:26.7	who weaponizes goodness and kindness,
1:29.5	and also the person who is in relationship with those people, that type of person, and might extract
1:38.4	from that type of person because that's the shadow that meets that shadow.
1:42.7	And also why sometimes when someone is being really nice to you
1:48.6	and wants to do something for you and give something to you,
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Mark Groves, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Mark Groves and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.