377: The Key to Keeping the Spark Alive, Having Better Sex and Why It’s Ok to Not Want Kids with Vanessa and Xander Marin
Well with Arielle Lorre
Dear Media, Arielle Lorre
4.8 • 4K Ratings
🗓️ 5 March 2025
⏱️ 65 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist with 20 years of experience in the sex therapy field. Xander, her husband, is a self proclaimed “regular dude who’s been married to a sex therapist for over a decade.” Together, they help people stop feeling so embarrassed about sex, start having more fun in the bedroom and communicate better. They join the show to talk how to *actually* keep the spark alive in long term relationships, being child-free by choice, how to discern between true incompatibility and just poor communication, the two types of desire and sex drives, relationship and sex myths and how to talk to your partner about sex.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The following podcast is a Dear Media production. |
| 0:05.8 | In a world of ever-changing wellness trends and information, what does it mean to truly be well? |
| 0:12.1 | I'm Ariel Lurie and I'm going to explore this with you. |
| 0:16.0 | I am bringing you candid conversations that will equip you with everything you need to live your best life |
| 0:21.2 | and look good doing it. Think of Well is your go-to resource for all of the latest in wellness |
| 0:26.1 | and me as your internet bestie. Well, let's get into it. Hi, everybody, welcome to the show. Welcome to a |
| 0:35.2 | really fun and kind of spicy episode of the show. Today I'm talking to |
| 0:41.7 | Vanessa and Zander Marin. Vanessa is a licensed psychotherapist with 20 years of experience in the |
| 0:48.8 | sex therapy field. And then Zander, her husband, is a self-proclaimed regular dude who's been married to a sex therapist for over a decade. |
| 0:58.5 | And together they help people stop feeling so embarrassed about sex, start having more fun in the bedroom, and communicate better. |
| 1:06.4 | So they join the show today to talk about all of this. |
| 1:10.1 | And I was so excited to have them. I made a little bit of a |
| 1:13.0 | mistake, I think, because when I met them, I said, I feel like I'm meeting big celebrities because |
| 1:18.1 | I heard you on Armchair Expert, which is one of the only podcasts that I listened to. And then I went |
| 1:24.5 | back and I think it was only Vanessa who was on, but I grouped them together. |
| 1:29.1 | Regardless, they are so fun to talk to and they really help to show why communication is key, whether you're in a long-term relationship or you're just dating or just sleeping with people. |
| 1:42.1 | So we are talking about long-term relationships, how to actually keep |
| 1:46.2 | the spark alive in those relationships. We talk about how to discern between true incompatibility |
| 1:53.1 | and what is just actually poor communication, like when to know that the relationship should actually |
| 1:58.5 | end versus something that is going to be |
| 2:01.8 | fixable. And I know that a lot of people in long-term relationships find themselves at this |
| 2:05.7 | juncture where they're not sure what to do. We also talk about the two types of desire and |
... |
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