37. “My love language is spending money I don’t have”

Money For Couples

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.6 • 3.1K Ratings

🗓️ 5 April 2022

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Money can be a way of showing love, but what happens when you’re spending money you don’t have? Does spending any less mean you love the people in your life any less? It seems simple, sometimes it’s not. Meet Jessica and Javier. She’s tried to help him with his financial literacy, but Javier only knows how to show love through spending. Unfortunately, his love is bigger than his paycheck. Not only that, he’s admittedly ignorant of how credit works. He relies on magical money thinking and is unrealistic about what it’s going to take to pay it off. We’re going to get to the root of Javier’s relationship with money and show him what’s ultimately at stake here—everything. It’s one thing to realize you’re making bad financial decisions, it’s another to turn the page on everything you know to be true about yourself. Let’s get into it. Connect with Ramit Website Instagram Twitter Facebook YouTube Linkedin If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0	I just feel sorry that I owe her so much because I've been away from her that we get separated.
0:12.8	And I owe her so much time that I try to buy things for her and I see that is a mistake.
0:20.3	I would say that this is a 10 out of 10 situation.
0:24.3	I don't know what else to say.
0:26.5	Jessica, if you want to break out with me right now and leave your life,
0:30.2	and then we'll talk about it because I don't have the capacity to say anything else.
0:35.3	I'm sorry.
0:36.9	Welcome to this week's episode of I Will Teach You To Be Rich.
0:40.4	Today you're going to meet Jessica and Javier.
0:43.1	I'll talk to both of them, but Javier really is the focus of today's episode.
0:48.8	Jessica makes $80,000 a year. Javier makes $33,000 a year.
0:54.4	Jessica has 15K in savings and 175K invested.
0:59.7	Javier has zero.
1:02.6	Now in the next six months, they plan to move back to Javier's home country of Colombia in Bogota.
1:09.4	But Javier's reckless spending is worrying Jessica.
1:14.2	He's $21,000 in debt.
1:17.4	That might not sound like a lot compared to some of the numbers you've heard on this podcast,
1:21.4	but Javier accrued $9,000 of that debt on a single trip to Colombia.
1:28.6	What happens when someone has no concept of credit as real money?
1:33.8	What happens when they can't see the consequences of their own spending?
1:38.9	Jessica has told me that she can't commit to the move unless Javier fixes his finances.
1:46.0	And if he can't do that, that might mean the end of this relationship.
	...

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