355: Relationship Problems - Be Gone! Featuring Dr. Matthew May
Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy
David Burns, MD
4.4 • 856 Ratings
🗓️ 31 July 2023
⏱️ 58 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
355: Relationship Problems: Be Gone!
Featuring Dr. Matthew May
In today’s podcast, Matt, Rhonda and David discuss relationship problems, and how to overcome them. We also give instructions on the Paradoxical Invitation, one of the most important and difficult techniques for TEAM-CBT therapists to learn.
We started today’s podcast interviewing Tania Ahern and Andy Persson who give a plug for the upcoming TEAM-CBT intensive from August 14 to 17, 2023 in Bristol, and incredible British city with an outstanding TEAM-CBT training program in store for you. Many notable TEAM experts will be presenting, including Drs. Leigh Harrington, Heather Clague, Marius Wirga, Stirling Moorey, Mike Christensen and many other notable teachers. Special thanks to Peter Spurrier for being a fantastic TEAM therapist and organizer!
I will also be there virtually doing a keynote address, a Q and A session, and a live TEAM-CBT demo with a workshop volunteer. The amazing Mike Christensen will be my co-therapist. Hope to see you there! Go to TEAMCBT.UK for registration and more information.
Today we focus on relationship problems, starting with a real example, which often makes for the best teaching. Rhonda recently spent time with her son and daughter-in-law to help with their new twin babies. Rhonda’s daughter-in-law had a very difficult delivery, and was in the hospital for several weeks following the birth of the babies. Rhonda worked relentlessly cooking and cleaning for them, feeding the babies, changing their diapers, and comforting them, and providing help for the new mom, who was overwhelmed and fearful of bathing the babies, thinking she might hurt them when attempting to bathe them.
As so often happens in real life, Rhonda ran into a severe conflict with her daughter-in-law and responded with anger, and we all so often do. She reveals how terrible she and her daughter-in-law felt, and how she saved the day after deciding to have a “redo” of the interaction, using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication.
Rhonda, Matt and David described one of the most difficult therapy tools in TEAM-CBT, the Paradoxical Invitation Step, and contrasted it with the Straightforward Invitation.
Rhonda also mentioned some podcasts for further information on the Relationship Journal and the Interpersonal Model in TEAM-CBT. There are even more, but here are some that might interest you. My book, Feeling Good Together, is also a must-read for anyone wanting to make profound changes in the way you connect with the people you love, as well as your patients if you’re a shrink!
We finished today’s podcast with some entertaining role-playing exercises, using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication in interactions with extremely difficult individuals. This gave me the chance to role-play some incredibly obnoxious and practically impossible to please. My favorite role!
Enjoy!
Warmly,
Rhonda, Matt, and David
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to the Feeling Good podcast, where you can learn powerful techniques |
| 0:11.6 | to change the way you feel. I am your host, Dr. Rhonda Borovsky, and joining me here in the |
| 0:16.9 | Murrieta studio is Dr. David Burns. Dr. Burns is a pioneer in the development of |
| 0:22.3 | cognitive behavioral therapy and the creator of the new team therapy. He's the author of Feeling |
| 0:27.4 | Good, which has sold over 5 million copies in the United States and has been translated into over 30 |
| 0:33.2 | languages. His latest book, Feeling Great, contains powerful new techniques that make rapid recovery |
| 0:39.3 | possible for many people struggling with depression and anxiety. Dr. Burns is currently an |
| 0:44.7 | emeritus adjunct professor of clinical psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine. |
| 0:51.3 | Hello, Rhonda. |
| 0:55.1 | Hello, David. |
| 0:58.9 | And welcome everyone across the country and around the world. |
| 1:02.9 | This is the Feeling Good podcast episode 355. |
| 1:08.5 | And we also have our most marvelous guest, Matt May with us. |
| 1:12.5 | This is going to be an Ask David podcast, maybe, hopefully. |
| 1:13.5 | Hey, Rhonda. |
| 1:31.0 | And we also have two very, very special guests who are coming to this podcast from the United Kingdom, Andy Person, who is a team therapist who does outside walking therapy. And he can talk about that a little bit about what he does. |
| 1:31.6 | And we also have Tanya Ahern, who was once a family doctor general practitioner in the UK until |
| 1:37.7 | she switched her practice around completely to become an extraordinary team therapist. |
| 1:42.7 | So welcome Andy and Tanya. |
| 1:46.0 | Thank you. Great to be here. Great to see you. Lovely to meet you all. So I know that you're |
| 1:52.9 | part of the planning committee for the Bristol team intensive that's scheduled in the United |
| 1:58.5 | Kingdom from August 14th to 17th. So we want you to tell us some of the details about what that's scheduled in the United Kingdom from August 14th to 17th. So we want you to |
... |
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