#35 5 Sex Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have to Improve Their Sex Life, with Dr. Adam Mathews

The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice

Sean Jameson

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

3.8 • 899 Ratings

🗓️ 18 February 2019

⏱️ 38 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On the show today we are joined by Dr. Adam Mathews. Dr. Mathews is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 15 years of experience working with couples and families. He’s an adjunct professor for both North Central University and Piper University and he’s also the cohost of the popular podcast, Foreplay Radio Sex Therapy. Currently, Dr. Mathews also serves as president of the North Carolina Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.

In this episode we’ll be discussing the five sex conversations every couple needs to have to improve their sex life and address the regular problems that persist in relationships when sex is MIA or when your partner isn’t comfortable talking about it. Who better to talk on the subject of sex in relationships than the expert, Dr. Mathews!

Highlights

How Dr. Mathews came to be a therapist and started Foreplay Read Sex Therapy.
Why some couples intentionally avoid difficult conversations about sex.
Why when conflict grows: disconnection grows and your sex life follows suit.
The first initial steps, what leads people to therapy and how to uncover the problem.
What emotional and sexual disconnection does to your relationship.
The right approach when you want to initiate the ‘sex’ conversation.
Owning your part in it and focusing on one thing at a time.
Laying off the pressure when making new requests.
The “My parents did what?” conversation: what your family was like about sex.
The “I’ll have what she’s having” conversation: getting away from assumptions.
The “Indianapolis 500” conversation: what puts us in the mood for sex.
The “I have a headache” conversation: How to deal with rejection, when you’re not in the mood.
How to politely honestly and politely say, “Hey just not tonight”.
The “The professor plum in the bedroom with the lights off” conversation.
Not underestimating the soft skills: communication and how it can bring connection.
And so much more!

Tweetables

“Just never force a sex conversation on somebody if they don’t want to have it.” — @MathewsCounsel [0:13:17.1]

“Sex is the ultimate expression of love and connection.” — @MathewsCounsel [0:16:38.1]

“You mention the soft skills and I think that is what they are and I would just say, don’t underestimate the power of this stuff.” — @MathewsCounsel [0:35:33.1]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode

Dr. Adam Mathews — https://mathewscounseling.net/

Dr. Mathews on Twitter — https://twitter.com/MathewsCounsel

Dr. Mathews on LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/dradammathews

Dr. Mathews on Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/dradammathews/

Foreplay Read Sex Therapy —http://foreplayrst.com/

Transcript

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0:00.0	It's kind of the worst fear about what you hear about marriage that when they got married that sex declines and it did happen for them.
0:06.4	But they were never, when I asked them what were their conversations around sex like?
0:12.0	They both said, well, we don't ever talk about that and they
0:14.9	didn't ever talk about that. They just assumed like many couples that their sex
0:19.2	life would just take care of itself. This is the Bad Girls Bible Podcast.
0:27.0	I'm your host Sean Jameson and this is the place where I interview experts and
0:33.9	professionals and everyone in between to teach you how to dramatically improve your
0:38.2	relationships and have more enjoyable sex more often and by the way if you want to learn my most important sex
0:45.6	tips and techniques that will bring you and your partner back arching, spine
0:49.2	tingling, toe-curling orgasms that will keep them coming back for more. You will find them in my
0:53.8	discreet and private newsletter. Just go to badgirls Bible.com slash newsletter enter your
0:59.7	name and email address and I will send these sex tips straight to your inbox.
1:03.7	Today I'm talking to Dr Adam Matthews. Dr Matthews is a licensed marriage and
1:10.5	family therapist with over 15 years of experience working with couples and families.
1:16.1	He's an adjunct professor for both North Central University and Fyfer University and he's also the co-host of the popular podcast Foreplay Radio Sex Therapy.
1:26.0	Currently Dr Matthews also serves as president of the North Carolina Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.
1:35.0	Adam, thanks so much for coming on the Bad Girls Bible Podcast.
1:38.0	Yeah, Sean, I'm so happy to be here.
1:40.0	Thanks for having me.
1:41.0	So I'd love, you know, before we kind of delve in if you could, you know, maybe tell my
1:45.2	listeners a little bit about your background and how you came to be a therapist and how you came to start Foreplay radio sex therapy?
1:55.0	I got into therapy as a result of just seeing friends and family around me that were just
	...

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