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33: Sofia's Water Broke

Sofia with an F

Sloot Media

Comedy, Society & Culture, Relationships

4.283K Ratings

🗓️ 3 June 2021

⏱️ 50 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript


Coming to a PTA meeting near you, Sofia and her hellchild! Yep! Sofia is having a baby! Clear your schedule because everyone knows she is NOT watching after that thing. Baby Sloot was decided upon AFTER Sofia abandoned her boyfriend and a Sloot Media employee at the St. Regis hotel to fend for themselves while she proceeded to get blackout drunk - only to wake up in a random hotel room next to a couple partaking in intercourse! Just Sofia things. Sofia also teaches us a VERY important Sloot University lesson regarding GIRL CODE, telling us all the do’s and dont’s of friendship in womanhood…which we know she knows ALL about. PRO TIP: Sending pussy pics to your friends boyfriend is a no go! Anyway, Sofia’s baby is screaming and she’s probably in a ditch somewhere so tune in! Baby Alessi has a new friend! Follow Sofia on Instagram and Twitter @SofiaFranklyn Find merch HERE: https://sofiafranklyn.com/ Episode promo codes: Zola: http://www.zola.com/SOFIA Function of Beauty: http://www.functionofbeauty.com/SOFIA Noom: http://www.noom.com/SOFIA To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Welcome everybody. Welcome to Swath. As always, if you could please rate, subscribe and review the show. I mean, that's if you want my show to continue on. If you don't then absolutely don't fucking rate and review. Okay.


I am flying solo this week all by myself. I have a very special guest lined up for next week that I think you guys are going to absolutely love. I do have my producer here though to make sure I don't get fucking canceled again. Hi, Alex. Hi, Sophia. And let me just tell you guys that is not an easy thing to do. Okay. You deserve a raise. I do. You do. You should tell my boss. I will. So we are in a lay right now. It is warm.


It is warm, sunny, and it was a fucking two hour plane ride. So yes, I am completely fucking jet lagged. I don't know how I'm going to do anything that I have planned for this week, but there are some really exciting things that I will be doing and I would tell you what they are because I don't like to be annoying and just like.


You like, oh my god, like I have a big secret you guys will figure it out when you do go to part two. That's not what this is. I just don't like announcing things because you never know maybe it doesn't end up happening. You know what I'm saying. Manifesto.


Okay, so yes, I wish I was laying by the pool, but it is a work trip. I would love to know what the fuck Alex is here for because this bitch does not look like she's here to work right now. She's dressed to the 9's.


Okay, I am also here to work. But if I happen to stumble upon someone with a large TikTok falling.


I'm a mini hacker. I can't. Two birds one stone baby. How old is he Alex 18.


Which of the friends I'm assuming all of like the go to TikTokers are it's just it's really wild to me. He is 10 years younger than me.


Okay, well, I mean my boyfriend is a little bit older than me. So anyways, guys, we're in LA. But I spent this past weekend up in Park City. I stayed at the same Regis, which I know sounds snobby.


But it was the most magical, beautiful hotel I've ever stayed at up there and I've stayed at all of them. And I just wanted to give them a shout out for absolutely no fucking reason because they're not paying me and they definitely don't need the money.


But that's what I'm here to do. But if you want to splurge, I highly recommend the point is I had a little bit of a situation while I was up there that I'm really not proud of.


I'm extremely ashamed. Very ashamed Alex and I told you I was very upset about it. So I decided while I was staying up there that I was going to get some work in over the weekend.


And I had Delaney shout out come up. She works for Slute Media and we were going to film some content do some strategy work.


And I initially was going to have her come to the room, but then the room was being cleaned blah blah blah. And so I just had her meet me at the bar again setting gorgeous and I'm sitting at the bar.


I'm waiting for her and I'm like, you know what? You know what would just make this a 10 out of 10 Instagram story post is rosé and oysters. You know,


there we go. Any time a bitch has rosé or oysters in her story. It's like, I don't know. It's the badge of ultimate Instagram story.


So I order some rosé and I'm just going to tell everyone right now that was a big mistake big big big huge. What is that Donald Trump? Is that what he says?


I mean, whatever it wasn't a smart move. I never drink on an empty stomach. That is a recipe for disaster every single time I've ever done it.


But I did it anyway. So we are working and God forbid I actually take accountability for any of my actions.


I'm going to say I'm going to blame it on the server. He was too attentive way too attentive. I would have a sit left of my rosé and the second I took that last sip.


He would be hovering over me with, you know, the little towel that overs arm and a big fucking rosé bottle and would ask, hey, can I give you a refill? Can I refill? Can I refill?


I'm just doing his job. I know, but his job let me to do something I really, really regret when you're drinking on an empty stomach. It does not take that much alcohol. I probably I was probably at three glasses at this point or four.


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