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33: Sofia's Water Broke

Sofia with an F

Sloot Media

Comedy, Society & Culture, Relationships

4.283K Ratings

🗓️ 3 June 2021

⏱️ 50 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Coming to a PTA meeting near you, Sofia and her hellchild! Yep! Sofia is having a baby! Clear your schedule because everyone knows she is NOT watching after that thing. Baby Sloot was decided upon AFTER Sofia abandoned her boyfriend and a Sloot Media employee at the St. Regis hotel to fend for themselves while she proceeded to get blackout drunk - only to wake up in a random hotel room next to a couple partaking in intercourse! Just Sofia things. Sofia also teaches us a VERY important Sloot University lesson regarding GIRL CODE, telling us all the do’s and dont’s of friendship in womanhood…which we know she knows ALL about. PRO TIP: Sending pussy pics to your friends boyfriend is a no go! Anyway, Sofia’s baby is screaming and she’s probably in a ditch somewhere so tune in! Baby Alessi has a new friend! Follow Sofia on Instagram and Twitter @SofiaFranklyn Find merch HERE: https://sofiafranklyn.com/ Episode promo codes: Zola: http://www.zola.com/SOFIA Function of Beauty: http://www.functionofbeauty.com/SOFIA Noom: http://www.noom.com/SOFIA To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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0:00.0

Welcome everybody. Welcome to Swath. As always, if you could please rate, subscribe and review the show. I mean, that's if you want my show to continue on. If you don't then absolutely don't fucking rate and review. Okay.

0:20.0

I am flying solo this week all by myself. I have a very special guest lined up for next week that I think you guys are going to absolutely love. I do have my producer here though to make sure I don't get fucking canceled again. Hi, Alex. Hi, Sophia. And let me just tell you guys that is not an easy thing to do. Okay. You deserve a raise. I do. You do. You should tell my boss. I will. So we are in a lay right now. It is warm.

0:49.0

It is warm, sunny, and it was a fucking two hour plane ride. So yes, I am completely fucking jet lagged. I don't know how I'm going to do anything that I have planned for this week, but there are some really exciting things that I will be doing and I would tell you what they are because I don't like to be annoying and just like.

1:09.0

You like, oh my god, like I have a big secret you guys will figure it out when you do go to part two. That's not what this is. I just don't like announcing things because you never know maybe it doesn't end up happening. You know what I'm saying. Manifesto.

1:24.0

Okay, so yes, I wish I was laying by the pool, but it is a work trip. I would love to know what the fuck Alex is here for because this bitch does not look like she's here to work right now. She's dressed to the 9's.

1:39.0

Okay, I am also here to work. But if I happen to stumble upon someone with a large TikTok falling.

1:47.0

I'm a mini hacker. I can't. Two birds one stone baby. How old is he Alex 18.

1:57.0

Which of the friends I'm assuming all of like the go to TikTokers are it's just it's really wild to me. He is 10 years younger than me.

2:06.0

Okay, well, I mean my boyfriend is a little bit older than me. So anyways, guys, we're in LA. But I spent this past weekend up in Park City. I stayed at the same Regis, which I know sounds snobby.

2:21.0

But it was the most magical, beautiful hotel I've ever stayed at up there and I've stayed at all of them. And I just wanted to give them a shout out for absolutely no fucking reason because they're not paying me and they definitely don't need the money.

2:36.0

But that's what I'm here to do. But if you want to splurge, I highly recommend the point is I had a little bit of a situation while I was up there that I'm really not proud of.

2:48.0

I'm extremely ashamed. Very ashamed Alex and I told you I was very upset about it. So I decided while I was staying up there that I was going to get some work in over the weekend.

3:02.0

And I had Delaney shout out come up. She works for Slute Media and we were going to film some content do some strategy work.

3:12.0

And I initially was going to have her come to the room, but then the room was being cleaned blah blah blah. And so I just had her meet me at the bar again setting gorgeous and I'm sitting at the bar.

3:24.0

I'm waiting for her and I'm like, you know what? You know what would just make this a 10 out of 10 Instagram story post is rosé and oysters. You know,

3:35.0

there we go. Any time a bitch has rosé or oysters in her story. It's like, I don't know. It's the badge of ultimate Instagram story.

3:45.0

So I order some rosé and I'm just going to tell everyone right now that was a big mistake big big big huge. What is that Donald Trump? Is that what he says?

3:58.0

I mean, whatever it wasn't a smart move. I never drink on an empty stomach. That is a recipe for disaster every single time I've ever done it.

4:10.0

But I did it anyway. So we are working and God forbid I actually take accountability for any of my actions.

4:20.0

I'm going to say I'm going to blame it on the server. He was too attentive way too attentive. I would have a sit left of my rosé and the second I took that last sip.

4:32.0

He would be hovering over me with, you know, the little towel that overs arm and a big fucking rosé bottle and would ask, hey, can I give you a refill? Can I refill? Can I refill?

4:43.0

I'm just doing his job. I know, but his job let me to do something I really, really regret when you're drinking on an empty stomach. It does not take that much alcohol. I probably I was probably at three glasses at this point or four.

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