329. How To Stop People-Pleasing At The Expense Of Your Own Dreams

Powerhouse Women

Lindsey Schwartz

Entrepreneurship, Business, Education, Self-improvement

4.9 • 912 Ratings

🗓️ 5 April 2022

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

For the majority of my life, I've just chosen to compromise my own dreams in the hopes of not disappointing other people. In doing so, I've actually missed the opportunities to make the full impact that I know I'm meant to make. Where do you see yourself holding back in order to make other people more comfortable? In this episode, I'm talking about the role that fear has played in my entrepreneurial journey and how I'm working to overcome those moments of self doubt. I share a quote from Glennon Doyle that has really impacted how I view my own potential and the duty that I have to pursue my wildest and boldest ideas. I also list a few journal prompt questions that I've been working with and get into how I've been approaching this thought work.

In this episode we talk about:

Why so many of us hold back on what we really want
Thoughts, doubts, and questions that come up for me when I'm in an intense growth season
Where I've seen myself compromise my vision
How I'm working on my people-pleasing tendencies
Why it's actually selfish to not reach your full potential
Tapping into your subconscious mind and intuition
The discomfort of being stagnant

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EPISODE TIMELINE & DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

( 0:42 ) Welcome back to another episode of Powerhouse Women! Lindsey opens up the episode by asking listeners, "Who are you most afraid of disappointing if you were to go after your dreams?"

( 2:19 ) Lindsey says, "I think a big reason why we hold back and we don't go all in and share really boldly is a fear of what other people are going to think about it."

( 5:40 ) Lindsey shares a quote from Glennon Doyle that really impacted her. "Every time you are given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job throughout your entire life is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself."

( 8:16 ) Lindsey shares moments when she has chosen to disappoint herself instead of other people.

( 10:39 ) Lindsey poses another reflective question for listeners. "If you knew that you could do anything and no one would be disappointed, if you could have anything and no one would be mad or jealous or triggered, what would you want?"

( 11:26 ) Lindsey describes how this question has guided her in the past.

( 16:13 ) Lindsey says, "The times when I avoid taking that step for far too long because I'm afraid of disappointing someone, that almost becomes more uncomfortable than taking the step."

( 17:49 ) Lindsey closes out the episode by saying, "When we do the bold thing, we actually change the world."

Transcript

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0:00.0	I think a big reason why we hold back and we don't go all in and share really boldly the highest, wildest version of that dream, is a fear of what other people are going to think about it.
0:16.6	Welcome to Powerhouse Women, the podcast for women who know they are ready for more.
0:23.4	I'm Lindsay Schwartz, your host and the founder of Powerhouse Women,
0:27.3	and together we'll unlock the confidence and clarity you are looking for
0:32.0	to help you get out of your own way and into action around your next big idea.
0:42.2	Who are you most afraid of disappointing if you were to go after your dreams like for real?
0:51.4	Now, I want you just to let that question sit for a moment and just notice if a certain
0:58.7	name or a certain face comes to mind. The answer might actually surprise you. But this is something I know
1:06.6	I have definitely dealt with in my own business and growth journey and so many of the women
1:13.7	that I mentor do as well. And I just want you to think, who are you most afraid of disappointing?
1:19.9	If you were to really, really go after like the wildest version of your big dreams, who is it that you're afraid would be disappointed?
1:30.5	Now, for a lot of us, I would venture to say we hold back on what we really want,
1:39.2	like what we really, truly, deeply want. We may give people the watered down version. We may give people
1:48.4	the smaller, safer version of the big, wildest version of our dreams. And I would bet that a small
1:59.2	part of why we hold back is a fear about who would be triggered,
2:06.2	who might be disappointed in us if we change or if we grow, who might get angry or jealous,
2:14.3	or insert whatever reaction you are most afraid of. I think a big reason why we hold back and we
2:23.5	don't go all in and share really boldly the highest, wildest version of that dream is a fear of
2:32.2	what other people are going to think about it. And I would know because
2:35.2	this fear of disappointing people has played a huge role in my story. You know, I feel like every
2:43.9	single time that I have gone to level up or just been on a huge growth curve. Every single time I made a quantum leap in
2:53.4	my life or my business, it has literally come on the other side, like that growth, that leap,
	...

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