325: Wiener War

Hello Dysfunction

Comedy, Improv

5 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 7 November 2025

⏱️ 85 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Happy Birthday Will! Crystal is in disguise, daylight savings is whooping us and poor people can scam. We’re only good at war, push kids to learn phonics, Aileen didn’t get a fair trial and Crystal snuck off to the movies.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome.
0:04.0	Welcome to Hello Dysfunction.
0:23.0	This time it's really episode 325.
0:26.8	I guess we said that last episode and we were wrong.
0:29.6	We tricked you.
0:31.3	We want to see if y'all was paying attention.
0:33.9	Now it's really 325.
0:36.3	Yep.
0:37.2	I'm on sunglasses because I'm in mourning.
0:41.1	Morning the loss of my eyelashes.
0:43.5	Hiding.
0:44.1	You're in disguise?
0:45.4	Yes.
0:47.0	Definitely.
0:48.5	Tell them what happened.
0:51.6	I lost my mind.
0:53.0	What's new?
0:54.1	I had, you know, I'm supposed to be on a break, right?
0:57.0	My idea of a break is like going three weeks without getting my lashes done.
1:01.5	And I literally had, I don't know, there's probably 12 eyelashes here and here, but the way they were, I already have a dysmorphic
1:12.4	face and, you know, the eyelashes on this eye was like this. Going into your eyes. And the ones over
1:20.2	here was at the end of my eye, you know, and it made me look insane. And we were watching a movie the night before last,
	...

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