#32 Struggling to Orgasm? Here's the Solution with Vanessa Marin

The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice

Sean Jameson

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

3.8 • 899 Ratings

🗓️ 28 January 2019

⏱️ 38 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On the show today we are joined by Vanessa Marin, who is a sex therapist specializing in helping women achieve orgasms. Through her work, in person and online, Vanessa has coached countless clients towards more fulfilling sex and a greater understanding of their bodies. In our conversation we cover Vanessa’s early desire to become a sex coach and the challenges that she faced on her journey towards her current status.

We then get into the nitty gritty of the big ‘O’, unpacking different types of desire, the dual control model, common myths on the subject and the helpful concept of curiosity. We also discuss sex toys, menopause, and some of the methods and resources that Vanessa offers.

Highlights

How Vanessa found herself in the job of orgasm coach.
The basis of Vanessa’s program for helping her clients.
The strong bond between desire and orgasm.
Differences between spontaneous and responsive desire.
An explanation of the dual control model.
Female orgasms are complex, how can we simplify it?
Where to start focussing your efforts when learning how to orgasm.
A few of the myths around female orgasm.
The courses, steps and guides that Vanessa offers on her website
Rethinking orgasm through the idea of curiosity.
The use of sex toys in this endeavour.
Menopause and orgasm and comparing different perspectives.
A more realistic idea of a healthy sex life for couples.
And much more!

Tweetables

“I always knew that female orgasm would be a hot topic in this area but I was definitely surprised by how many women were really desperately seeking some sort of solution.” — @VMTherapy [0:03:38.7]

“There’s a really powerful relationship between desire and orgasm and I think that a lot of women tend to neglect that relationship.” — @VMTherapy [0:07:50.3]

“I think it’s equally as important to think about what are the things that get in the way of me feeling desire.” — @VMTherapy [0:13:28.8]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode

Vanessa Marin — https://vmtherapy.com/

Brown University — https://www.brown.edu/

New York Times — https://www.nytimes.com/

Oprah — http://www.oprah.com/index.html

Real Simple — https://www.realsimple.com/

Finishing School — https://vmtherapy.com/how-to-orgasm/

Emily Nagoski — http://www.emilynagoski.com/

Come As You Are — https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22609341-come-as-you-are

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	a lot of women expect, we sort of think that an orgasm is going to pop up out of nowhere
0:04.9	and we don't really think about the fact that an orgasm is a journey and you need to be feeling
0:10.3	arousal and desire and pleasure building up into an orgasm.
0:15.0	So if you're not feeling that, you know, it's just not going to happen.
0:20.0	Also, there's kind of an inverse relationship as well.
0:23.5	A lot of women will get so frustrated by their
0:26.8	orgasmic challenges that they'll start losing their desire for sex.
0:31.5	They start avoiding sex because they just don't want to get into
0:35.4	the situation where they're either going to have to fake it with a partner or
0:38.8	be really frustrated about not having an orgasm. This is the Bad Girls Bible Podcast.
0:50.0	I'm your host Sean Jameson, and this is the place where I interview experts and
0:55.0	professionals and everyone in between to teach you how to dramatically improve your relationships
1:00.0	and have more enjoyable sex more often. And by the way if you want to learn my most important
1:06.4	sex tips and techniques that will bring you and your partner back arching, spine tingling,
1:10.8	toe-curling orgasms that will keep them coming back for more.
1:13.7	You will find them in my discrete and private newsletter.
1:17.1	Just go to badgirls Bible.com slash newsletter enter your name and email address and
1:21.8	I will send these sex tips straight to your inbox.
1:24.8	Today on the podcast I'm talking to Vanessa Marin. She is a licensed psychotherapist
1:31.4	specializing in sex therapy and she's here today to help you
1:35.1	stop feeling embarrassed and start having way more fun in the bedroom. Vanessa has
1:40.1	a bachelor's degrees in both human sexuality and sociology from Brown University
	...

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