#317: Why Your First Impression Matters & How to Improve It

The Art of Manliness

Society & Culture, Education, Philosophy

4.7 • 14.5K Ratings

🗓️ 29 June 2017

⏱️ 40 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

My guest today is a psychologist who specializes in the science of first impressions and has written the most useful and thorough book on the topic that I've come across. Her name is Ann Demarais and her book is "First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You." Today on the show, Ann explains how quickly we make a first impression and the psychological biases that influence how people judge you (and how you judge others). We then dig into what you should focus on during a first interaction to give a good impression and the behaviors you may think come off as neutral or positive but actually read in a negative way. For example, you may think you’re giving off a relaxed vibe during a social interaction, but others might see you as aloof. Ann explains how to find these blind spots in your self-awareness and what to do about them. We end our conversation by going through some actionable tips to become more charismatic, like how to keep a conversation going when your first meet someone, how to show interest in someone without looking creepy, and the common mistakes men make with their first impressions. And if you happen to blow your first impression, Ann shares how to recover.

Transcript

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0:00.0	BREAT MECHE here and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness Podcast.
0:18.4	While whether we like it or not, first impressions matter.
0:21.0	A good or bad first impression can be the difference between landing the job or getting
0:24.2	a polite rejection email, getting a first date or getting ghosted via text.
0:28.0	Given the stakes involved, do you know what kind of first impression you make?
0:31.7	Well, my guest Dave's is a psychologist who specializes in the science of first impressions
0:35.6	and has written the most useful and thorough book on the topic that I've come across.
0:38.8	Her name is Anne Demare, and her book is First Impressions, What You Don't Know About
0:42.1	How Others See You.
0:43.4	And today on the show, Anne explains how quickly we make our first impression.
0:46.4	And the psychological biases that influence how people judge you and how you judge others.
0:50.9	And we then dig into what you should focus on during your first interaction to give a good
0:54.2	impression and the behaviors you may think come off as neutral or positive, but actually
0:58.2	read in a negative way.
0:59.5	For example, you may think you're giving off a relaxed, cool dude vibe during a social
1:03.2	interaction, but others might see you as being a luth.
1:05.7	Anne explains how to find these blind spots in your self-awareness and what you can do about
1:09.0	them.
1:10.0	And we end our conversation by going through some actionable tips to become more charismatic
1:13.3	like how to keep a conversation going when you first meet someone, how to show interest
1:16.8	in someone without looking creepy, and the column mistakes men make with their first impressions.
1:21.3	And if you happen to blow your first impression and shares how to recover.
	...

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