302: Gaslighting 101
The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant
Michelle Chalfant
4.9 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 17 February 2022
⏱️ 28 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
You love them, and you think they love you…so why does it feel like you're going crazy so often in your relationship?
You leave conversations feeling confused, questioning your reality and maybe even questioning your own sanity.
You might be in a relationship with a gaslighter.
Gaslighting is a term that is thrown around frequently, but it is far more than someone questioning us or challenging us. Gaslighting is intentional, manipulative and designed to whittle away someone's self-confidence. In short, it's abuse.
Though gaslighting often happens in romantic relationships with narcissists, it can also happen in friendships and family relationships, with men and women and with people who don't struggle with narcissistic traits but who might struggle with control issues or other mental disorders.
In this episode, I'm sharing what gaslighting is, what it looks like in real life and ways to tell if you're being gaslighted.
Listen to discover:
- What gaslighting is
- What it looks like and sounds like
- 5 tactics of a gaslighter
- 2 signs you might be in a relationship with a gaslighter
- What to do if you're being gaslighted
The term "gaslighting" actually comes from a 1944 movie about a man who tries to make his wife think she's going insane…and that is exactly how being gaslighted feels – crazy making!
If you are experiencing this type of abuse, you can start the healing process by building up self-worth and finding people who can help guide you back to what is true about you and your life. The more connected you are to yourself, the better you will be able to see what is real and what is not and make decisions about how to move forward.
"Gaslighting – let's be clear – it's abusive." - Michelle Chalfant
"If someone is gaslighting you, you're going to feel confused, and confused a lot." - Michelle Chalfant
"Gaslighting is all about manipulation, power and control." - Michelle Chalfant
"'I'm sorry you feel that way,' is not an apology." - Michelle Chalfant
"When the person that you love keeps speaking to you like this, it wears you down." - Michelle Chalfant
"A gaslighter is the eternal victim." - Michelle Chalfant
"If someone is gaslighting you, stay in your own reality. Do not challenge them...you'll never win." - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Episode #301: Narcissism 101: What It Is & How To Heal It
https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/301/
The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You guys, I have something so exciting to share with you, something that is brand new. |
| 0:07.5 | I want to ask you about your relationship. |
| 0:10.5 | Are you someone that feels like you are in a dead end relationship, maybe you feel stuck |
| 0:16.5 | or overwhelmed, maybe you're bickering a lot? |
| 0:20.9 | Perhaps you feel like you're living with a friend and feel really disconnected in your |
| 0:24.7 | relationship. |
| 0:26.1 | Let me just tell you guys something, this was me in my marriage. |
| 0:30.5 | This is exactly how I was with my husband, but I was able to turn things around, which |
| 0:36.4 | is why I'm so excited to announce the relationship reset course. |
| 0:41.7 | It launches the week of October 9th. |
| 0:45.8 | If you are looking to change your relationship, to transform your relationship with your |
| 0:52.2 | partner and create a more fulfilling, more connected relationship, this is the course |
| 0:58.1 | for you. |
| 0:59.1 | It is a six week long program where I'm going to be leading you live every single week |
| 1:04.7 | and everything will be recorded. |
| 1:07.6 | But I also have PDFs for you. |
| 1:09.6 | I have scripts. |
| 1:11.1 | I also have special guests that have come on to teach you more about attachment theory, |
| 1:18.3 | codependency. |
| 1:20.1 | And how you speak successfully to your partner in relationship to turn things around. |
| 1:26.2 | There are so many great things in this course. |
| 1:28.2 | This is a five year dream that I've had to put this course out. |
... |
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