3: Various Heresies (The Acts of Peter and Paul)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 22 April 2018

⏱️ 89 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

"Go, say unto Simon: Peter, because of whom thou fleddest out of Judaea, waiteth for thee at the door." -- The Acts of Peter, Chapter IV

Join us this week as we dive into the apocryphal Acts of Peter and Acts of Peter and Paul for the daring return of the Bad Samaritan himself, the Father of All Heresies, the man who claims to be Jesus and may actually be Paul, Simon Magus! When our favorite Biblical supervillain shows up, Simon "The Rock" Peter returns to action to reanimate a smoked herring, get into a resurrection-off, and other Acts that are buck wild even by Biblical standards. Plus, the extremely apocryphal events of Justice League of America #2 and World's Finest #265.

Topics of discussion: Julius Caesar Real vs. Robin Hood real, How to tell Peter and Paul apart in paintings, Leucius Charinus, Gnosticism and Ennoia, Simon (Paul) (Saul) vs. Peter (Simon), the death of Dioscurus, how the city of Pontiole got full-on Spongebobbed, The Acts of Pilate and the Gospel of Nicodemus, the Science Dimension, The Church of Domine Quo Vadis and the footprints of the Ghost of Jesus, Peter: The Literal Rock, San Paolo alla Tre Fontani, M.R. James, Harris and See, "Roll Call" by Lil Jon feat. Ice Cube, Reigns: a big dog.

Special thanks to Jordan Witt for our new artwork this episode!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Go, say unto Simon, Peter, because of whom thou fledest out of Judea, waiteth for thee at the door.
0:07.5	The Acts of Peter, chapter four.
0:09.5	I have no choice.
0:12.6	I hear your voice.
0:16.3	Feels like flying.
0:19.3	I close my eyes. Oh, God, I close my eyes
0:21.6	Oh God, I think I'm falling out of the sky, I close my eyes. Hello, friends and neighbors.
0:40.9	Welcome to Apocry Pals.
0:42.7	It's the podcast where two nonbelievers read through the Bible, but we try not to be jerks about it.
0:47.8	My name is Chris Sims.
0:49.2	And with me as always is the other set of footprints, Benito Sereno.
0:52.1	Benito, how are you today?
0:53.9	I am excellent today because I'm very excited about the text that we will be covering in this very fine episode.
1:01.5	How about you?
1:02.5	Can I just say?
1:04.1	They're hard to read.
1:06.0	We've been reading a modern translation of the Bible, which is very easy to read, very simply put,
1:12.6	very nicely translated.
1:14.9	What we have read today, since we're getting into the actual Apocrypha for the very
1:19.4	first time, right?
1:21.1	Like, nobody counts this.
1:23.1	Yeah, this is real Little A Apocrypha.
	...

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