What is the weirdest thing you've done that you could only tell people about anonymously?

These are Reddit's best answers to that crazy question.

I downloaded Grindr because I thought maybe I was gay.

But after a few dudes started messaging me, I was like,

this is gay as frick, and deleted it.

I thought this would be gay, but not that gay. One time I went

outside at like 2 a.m. and put the garden hose nozzle into my behind and sprayed some water

into it. Then I farted it out onto the lawn. I basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose.

I did this because I was bored.

My neighbor saw me and told my dad. I lived at home at the time. Oh my god, imagine your dad saying,

oh, son, I heard about what you did with that garden hose. Could you pass a new one, please?

That's disgusting. Actually, someone's replied here that they think it's even weirder that your neighbor made the choice to tattle on you i bet he was debating it all morning

the freaking weirdo that's a good point surely if you see someone like that you just say okay

that's weird as frick i'm gonna leave it once i got off the subway in new york city and i was

super early for an appointment so i picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was a private detective or something.

I always kept about a half block behind.

He turned this way and that and eventually went into a building that I'd lived in nine years earlier. It was weird and so was I.

That is so strange. I jerked off to some sexy sounds, which I thought was my neighbour banging some hot chick,

which he did a lot, but it was actually another neighbour's severely disabled adult daughter,

very low-functioning autistic, I think,

who was making the noises. She used to hang out in their backyard and would verbalise with grunts

and moans that I misinterpreted as sexy moans. Oh God. All throughout middle school,

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