#299: How to Support Kids Healthy Striving without Perfectionism

Parenting Beyond Discipline

Erin Royer, MA Clinical Psychology, Child Development Specialist

Education, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Parenting, Kids & Family

4.4 • 630 Ratings

🗓️ 4 August 2022

⏱️ 24 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A healthy for personal growth and goals is a good thing, while perfectionism is push to be and do everything perfectly, an impossible standard. Perfectionism often comes from a fear of judgement and research shows perfectionism is far more nurture than nature. In this episode I cover how to support kids in developing a healthy mindset in setting and striving for goals without spilling over into the unhealthy striving that shows up as perfectionism.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Your Village podcast, Parenting Beyond Discipline.
0:08.2	Your Village is the most comprehensive site for evidence-based parenting classes available
0:13.3	on demand.
0:14.6	At Your Village online.com.
0:17.5	Our 50 plus classes give parents the foundation, steps, and tools for creating strong, healthy relationships with their children, resulting in responsible, cooperative, happy, and successful children and families.
0:29.9	My goal is to help parents support their children in finding and reaching their own unique potential.
0:36.6	The podcast is a place to learn about all things parenting and get your questions answered.
0:42.6	I'm your village founder and your host, Erin Royer.
0:47.7	Hello everyone.
0:49.6	Today's topic is one not just for parents to help our kids, but for us as parents to stop and take a look
0:56.0	and think about for ourselves too, and that is perfectionism. There is a healthy striving for
1:02.9	goals, self-improvement, and personal growth. This is a good thing. It's a great thing. But perfectionism
1:10.4	is an unhealthy striving for an impossible standard. It comes to a good thing. It's a great thing. But perfectionism is an unhealthy striving for an impossible standard.
1:14.5	It comes from a place of feeling not enough. It's the belief that if I look perfect, if I do it
1:22.5	perfectly, if I act behave perfectly, then I can avoid shame and judgment.
1:29.8	So how do we help our kids develop a healthy sense of striving that comes from an internal
1:34.9	motivation to learn, to create, to build, to become, and to show up in the world as their
1:40.3	authentic selves, and diminish any belief that perfect or perfection is the goal in
1:45.9	any facet of their striving. First, I'm going to cover some information about perfectionism,
1:52.2	what it looks like, the tendencies, and then I'll get into some ways to help your child develop
1:57.5	a healthy mindset for striving while avoiding those perfectionistic
2:01.4	tendencies to the degree possible. So here are some interesting findings about perfectionism.
	...

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