Hello forever dog listeners, my Kelton here. I'm a comedian and host of the spiritual comedy

docu-pod Beyond With My Kelton, and I'm absolutely vibing and excited to tell you that our

latest season comes out Tuesday, October 10th. On Beyond With My Kelton, I solve my problems via

supernatural means. In past seasons, I've chatted with my dead grandpa via a medium, I found out I was

a flapper in a past life, and I searched for a doorman who I genuinely considered to be my

guardian angel. And now, we are back with all new adventures. Will Hypnosis cure my

Diet Coke addiction? Did I actually hex my old pesky neighbor? Was there a blowout fight with

me and my producer over fairies? Well sweetie, you're gonna have to listen to find out. So spirit

girlies unite and go subscribe to Beyond With My Kelton on your favorite podcast platform.

I genuinely can't wait for you to listen. And my hope is that you somehow reach Nirvana

while listening on your morning commute. Okay, gotta go eat a crystal. Goodbye.

Suddenly, I used to have so much confidence. What do you mean now is the time we're

gone? I can't go on there and just make shit up for two hours. I got nothing to good morning,

everybody. It's Tim Heidegger. I'm shaking like a leaf. I'm gonna get this out of the way. I am

super, super nervous to be on TV. And I don't know where it came from. I got staged

for it. I got YouTube fright. I'm climbing up. I've got the jitters. I'm gonna shit my pants.

I can feel it coming. What do I do? Why did this happen? I used to be so comfortable.

If you show your pants, let it go and then you'll be filled with it. No, I'm shaking like a leaf.

I'm nervous. I got staged fright. I'm at a loss for words. What do I do? What do I say?

How do I do this? Where's my script? I come in here. I'm flying. I'm flying blindfolded here.

I got nothing to say. I got nothing. I didn't do my work.

Oh, fuck. Speaking of shit in his pants. Oh, Jesus Christ. God damn it. God damn dog just took a

...