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Why I Retired from the Police Force, written by Beardify.

I get odd looks from people when I tell them that I'm a retired police officer.

I'm barely 38 after all and in almost perfect health, which makes people's minds go to some dark places.

They wonder just what sort of scandal I'm being paid off to avoid.

Did I sleep with a superior officer, maybe fake an injury, or get caught planting evidence at a crime scene?

None of what they can imagine, however, is anywhere near as bad as the truth. Unlike a lot of

people, I didn't join the police force because a family ties her out of a desire to put evil

people behind bars. If I'm being honest with myself, I became a police officer because I sat behind

Sheila Horowitz in 10th grade. She was the

most beautiful girl that I had ever seen, and I acted like an idiot trying to impress her.

I failed four classes, dropped out, and later I wound up joining the army. After my service was done, I went to college on the GI Bill

with Brad Rikers, a guy for my unit, but I still had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.

Brad had this uncle, a Vietnam vet who was in charge of recruitment for the police force

of a middle-sized city in the deep south. According to Brad,

his uncle would find a way to hire just about anybody who had served in the military. After I graduated

from the academy, the first phone call I made was to my parents. The second was to Brad's uncle.

He was as good as his word and two weeks later.

Brad and I were on the force.

It was too good to be true.

Our new superior, Lieutenant Sheila Alversdon,

wasn't exactly thrilled about being forced to accept trainees

...