249. Good Girls Finish Last (How to Stop People-Pleasing and Start Living) with Elise Loehnen

Financial Feminist

Her First $100K

Self-improvement, Education, How To, Business

4.7 • 6.2K Ratings

🗓️ 25 August 2025

⏱️ 87 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Save your seat inside Business Bootcamp! Your COMPLETE roadmap to go from idea to income: herfirst100k.com/business-bootcamp If you’ve ever felt like you’re living life on someone else’s terms—constantly trying to be “good,” small, or palatable—this episode will change everything. I sat down with return guest Elise Loehnen, bestselling author of On Our Best Behavior and her new workbook Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness, to talk about how to actually like your life, your body, and yourself. We dig into how cultural “good girl” conditioning and stories about money, envy, success, and our bodies hold us back, and how to start rewriting those scripts into ones that feel true to who you are. Elise shares powerful insights on fear, intuition, and envy—and how embracing wholeness over perfection can free us to live more authentic lives. Elise’s links: Website: https://www.eliseloehnen.com/ Read transcripts, learn more about our guests and sponsors, and get more resources at https://herfirst100k.com/financial-feminist-show-notes/how-to-like-yourself/ Looking for accountability, live coaching, and deeper financial education? Check out our exclusive community! Join the $100K Club: https://herfirst100k.com/100k-pod Our favorite travel and cash-back credit cards, plus other financial resources: https://herfirst100k.com/tools Not sure where to start on your financial journey? Take our FREE money personality quiz! https://herfirst100k.com/quiz Special thanks to our sponsors: Squarespace Go to www.squarespace.com/FFPOD to save 10% off your first website or domain purchase. Indeed Get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility at Indeed.com/FFPOD. Rocket Money Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/FFPOD. Quince For your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from Quince. Go to Quince.com/FFPOD for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Netsuite If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, download the free e-book Navigating Global Trade: 3 Insights for Leaders at NetSuite.com/FFPOD. Zocdoc Visit Zocdoc.com/FFPOD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Saily Get an exclusive 15% discount on Saily eSIM data plans! Go to Saily.com/FFPOD download the Saily app and use code 'FFPOD' at checkout. Masterclass Get at least 15% off any annual membership at masterclass.com/FFPOD. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Right now, you are living your life by everybody else's rules, and it's holding you back.
0:05.4	In today's episode, we are talking with previous guest, Elise Lunin, about her new workbook
0:09.5	choosing wholeness over goodness.
0:11.7	Can you actually say what you want?
0:13.7	Most of us cannot.
0:15.0	We have subjugated what we want to other people's needs for our entire lives, and that
0:20.2	has been what's been modeled for us by our
0:22.3	mothers and our grandmothers and our aunts and our friends.
0:26.0	This workbook alongside her previous book on Our Best Behavior are life-changing, and I say that
0:31.1	not in hyperbole. It's so incredible. I have learned how to bring my body into decision making in a way that has kept me
0:39.9	from betraying myself. In this conversation, we're talking about how to stop believing the
0:44.3	scripts that were handed to you by society, by your family, and instead start writing your
0:48.8	own. So many of us are conditioned to be like, envy is gross and malicious and I don't envy anything. In my experience, men are much more capable of being like, I'm not going to be like, envy is gross and malicious, and I don't envy anything.
0:54.5	Ugh.
0:55.2	In my experience, men are much more capable of being like, I'm envy of that prick.
0:59.4	But for women, it's not conscious.
1:01.5	We don't let it come up so that we can even say, oh, I'm jealous.
1:05.3	Elise and I dig into how to good girl conditioning shapes our entire lives, but also the
1:10.3	stories we tell ourselves about money,
1:12.3	success, relationships, our bodies, and power, and how you can edit those narratives into something
1:17.5	entirely yours. Women are conditioned to perform their goodness in the world. Men are conditioned
1:22.4	for power. But because women are conditioned to perform their goodness, we're incredibly susceptible to reputational harm.
	...

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