0:00.0	Hey, it's Joseph Fink, co-creator of Nighteil here to give you the latest
0:09.7	news. Here goes. Videos of our live streamed live shows are now available for sale on our Patreon.
0:19.0	You do not have to be a Patreon member to buy them, but you know, consider joining if you are a willing. a
0:25.0	Patreon member to buy them, but you know, consider joining if you are willing, as it is how we are able to make this ritual.
0:28.0	Over on our merch store, we have lots of cool things,
0:31.0	like a Kill Your Double t-shirt and a I survived the summer reading program
0:37.4	patch. Find all of that at welcome to nightfail.com and then, you know, click around until you find your
0:45.0	destination and hey, thanks. It used to take two to tango, but these days it takes 15 on account of the economy.
1:01.3	Welcome to Night Vale. I hate to start out with bad news so I won't. I have really bad news but I think we
1:30.3	should keep things positive around here. Instead, let's focus on some good news.
1:36.8	John Peters, you know, the farmer, he says that he has grown the biggest ear of imaginary corn in history.
1:46.6	He said that the previous record was one foot, three inches, imagined by a farmer down in Argentina, but that just this week he imagined an ear of corn that was 1 foot 6 inches.
1:59.0	Wow! Impressive work, John.
2:02.0	Meanwhile, the Night Vale Boy Scouts have announced a jacket drive for the needy.
2:08.0	If someone is in need, they better cough up a jacket to the Boy Scouts or else.
2:14.0	The Boy Scouts then pounded their fists into their hands for emphasis.
2:18.8	Cute.
2:20.5	And finally, there will be a complete solar eclipse tomorrow.
2:25.0	From the point of view of one of Saturn's moons, so not super local to us, but still still great news.
2:34.0	Ah, I guess I should get to the bad news now.
2:39.0	The bad news is that something has emerged from the portal to the desert otherworld.
2:45.0	Kevin from Desert Bluffs was last seen entering that portal after a bloody fight with his younger self,
	...

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