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The Bert Show

24: Vault: She brings in Thanksgiving food for The Bert Show to sample

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

Entertainment News, Society & Culture, Comedy, News

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 15 May 2026

⏱️ 13 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Vault: She brings in Thanksgiving food for The Bert Show to sample

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

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0:04.6

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0:09.2

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0:19.5

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0:23.0

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0:28.8

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0:35.0

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0:46.0

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0:49.4

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0:53.8

That's code QDigit, QD-I-G-I-T for 10 pounds of your first order. That's code Q Digget, QDigit, QD-I-T for 10 pounds of your first order over 30 pounds. For full terms, visit the QVC website. This is the Bert Show. Wendy, this is going to be really cool for Wendy this weekend. I'm not sure she's viewing it that way at this point. That it's going to be a cool weekend.

1:28.2

Well, yeah, well, kind of. I mean, I guess it's a tradition being passed down to me, but I'm cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time. And my mom, I said sprung it on me because it's three weeks ago. A month ago. Three weeks is not a lot of time for me because I don't go to the grocery store. I don't like shop. I don't even like cooking.

1:30.0

I don't own mixing bowls.

1:44.4

I don't go to the grocery store. I don't like shop. I don't even like cooking. I don't own mixing bowls. I don't own anything to measure anything. I use the toaster oven or the oven that you just pop something in. So do you go out to dinner every night? Are you heading a taco mac every night? Either that or I just make something that's really easy. Frozen. It's a hot pocketer. Like a salad. Like you can make a salad in two seconds. You just pour the lettuce that's already pre-packaged into a bowl and throw some dressing on it. That's easy. Or the George Foreman, you just put the chicken on the thing and it cooks for you. But, I mean, nothing mixing-wise or having to do multiple ingredients. I don't do. So the extent of your cooking is the George Foreman grill. Yes. Okay. I use it almost every day. How long would it take to cook a turkey on a George Foreman? Four years. Well, if you get those little turkey breasts, I mean, five minutes. They want you, has your mom set up parameters like, look, it needs to be a 12-pound turkey, we need to have

2:18.3

stuffing there, we need to have green beans. Are you doing everything yourself? I'm doing everything myself. I think she's going to, there's like one dish that my mom just normally makes every year by herself and it's just her stuffing that she has. So I think that's all she's making. Good. Mom's got the stuffing.

2:33.4

Well, one stuffing. We have more than one stuffing.

2:36.3

So I'm going to all she's making. Good. Mom's got the stuffing. Well, one stuffing. We have more than one stuffing.

2:36.3

So I'm going to be doing a stuffing, but just not that one. Wow. Okay. So, yeah, I had the turkey. I bought the turkey on Sunday and forgot to put it in the refrigerator. So I put it in the refrigerator on Monday. But you put it in the freezer, right? I put it in the freezer when I got home, but then I put it in the refrigerator.

2:51.0

So that's taken care of.

2:52.3

That's sawing, I guess.

...

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