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Counselling Tutor

229 – Counselling Victims of Narcissistic Abuse

Counselling Tutor

Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes

Education, Courses

4.6636 Ratings

🗓️ 28 May 2022

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The Seven Stages of Process - Difference between Being a Reflective and Reflexive Counsellor In Episode 229 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oaks and Ken Kelly take us through today's three topics: In 'Counselling Foundations', we'll look at the seven stages of process. Then in 'Focus on Self', we think about the difference between reflective and reflexive, and the importance of both. And lastly in 'Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Amy Launder on counselling victims of narcissistic abuse. The Seven Stages of Process [starts at 02:06 mins] Carl Rogers' seven stages of process are an important piece of theory within person-centered therapy. In this section, Rory and Ken discuss some of the key things to think about when working with the seven stages: A form of measurement - allow you to chart the growth of your client. The first stage details someone who may at first blame others and be stuck in the past - it is rare that an individual who is still in this stage would reach out for counselling. You're aiming for the client to be able to accept the past and instead be more accepting of the here and now. The success of the seven stages relies on the motivation of the client, and their own willingness to change and move forwards. Difference between Being a Reflective and Reflexive Counsellor [starts at 17:16 mins] Reflection and reflexivity are two very closely linked words that are both equally as important as each other when it comes to improving yourself and your practice. The key points of this discussion include: Reflection - thinking about what you can do/change in order to improve. Reflexivity - deciding on a course of action based on your reflection and carrying it out. Think about what you've learnt and how you will apply it - supervision will help you think about this. Be curious. Counselling is a fluid and changing profession, there will always be something new to learn or something to improve on. Counselling Victims of Narcissistic Abuse [starts at 30:15 mins] In this week's 'Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Amy Launder on working with survivors of narcissistic abuse. The main points of this discussion include: Clients often don't know they've been a victim of narcissistic abuse - they may just be confused as to why their relationship ended and what they must've done wrong. Moving goalpost - the victim may have been made to feel like they were never good enough. Gaslighting - they may have been made to doubt themselves. The narcissist will often act different with others than with the victim, so sometimes the victim may won't be believed when they try to share what they're experiencing. Doesn't just take place in romantic relationships - can exist within friendship too. Due to social media, things such as gaslighting can happen online as well. When counselling victims of narcissistic abuse, remember that it will require patience from the therapist to unpick everything within the relationship. Links and Resources Counselling Skills Academy Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Shop Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

Transcript

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0:00.0

I'm Ken Kelly and I've got a real burning passion for counselling skills.

0:05.3

I've built training that takes the doubt out of using counselling skills.

0:09.7

You get to see the counselling skills used in real live sessions by a qualified therapist.

0:16.6

Full sessions, real material, real counselling skills.

0:20.3

To find out more, go to counselling skills

0:23.6

academy.com. Welcome to the counselling tutor podcast, the must listen to podcast for students of

0:32.9

counselling and psychotherapy. Here are your hosts, Rory Lise Oakes and Ken Kelly. Hi, I'm Rory. I'm with me.

0:43.1

As always, it's Ken. How you doing, Ken? I'm well. Thank you for asking, Rory. I'm delighted to be here.

0:48.9

And both Rory and I are delighted that you've joined us for episode 229 of the counselling tutor podcast. Popcast. I don't know what I'm

0:58.6

thinking there. Pop stars we are. Podcast. So what can you expect in episode 229? Well, we start off

1:06.9

with those counselling foundations where we revisit the basic theories and principles that

1:11.3

underpin counseling. And today, a theory from the person-centered approach. And we're looking at

1:16.0

the seven stages of process. Moving on to Focus on Self, where we recognize you are the heartbeat

1:22.4

of your practice. And we need to look after ourselves and take care of ourselves in order to be there for the

1:28.3

clients that we see in today we're going to be looking at the difference between reflective

1:31.8

and reflexive and how we can use that within our growth and within our practice.

1:39.1

And then we go on to practice matters where today we have an interview with an expert.

1:43.5

It is a good, a favorite

1:45.8

of counseling tutor and a really good friend of counseling tutor. It's Amy Launder speaking about

1:50.5

working with survivors of narcissistic abuse. Rory reached out an amazing interview. So make sure

1:57.3

you stick around for that. But starting off with the foundations.

2:01.7

We always put the foundations in first, Rory,

...

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