meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

220. “I carry the baby, the bills, and the stress”

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.63.1K Ratings

🗓️ 5 August 2025

⏱️ 100 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Monica (36) and Michael (33) have been married just over a year and are navigating the pressures of new parenthood—but Monica feels like she’s doing it alone. She pays the rent, covers childcare, and works a demanding job, while Michael juggles three jobs and carries shame about his income and past financial mistakes—including an eviction he never told her about. Despite a recent 50% salary increase, Michael didn’t share the news, reinforcing Monica’s sense that she’s carrying the emotional and financial load. Can Ramit help them rebuild trust, communicate transparently, and step into a true financial partnership? In this episode we uncover: • Michael’s quiet shame about earning less • How an eviction early in their relationship shattered Monica’s trust • The $95K salary increase Michael never told her about • Why Michael’s “Swiss Army knife” mentality is sabotaging their relationship • What Monica really means when she says she wants a financial partner • Why transparency is still a major hurdle • The emotional gap in their relationship, and how it’s showing up in everything from birthday celebrations to debt payoff plans • What finally shifts when Michael shares his debt-free timeline Chapters: (00:00:00) “I feel like a leech” (00:18:28) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:25:56) “I got a 50% raise…and didn’t tell her” (00:33:24) Why she’s always the last to know about his money (00:42:59) The secret that shattered her trust early on (00:46:26) He paid off half his debt—but still struggles to celebrate it (01:00:03) Torn between faith and financial goals (01:04:38) When earning more still isn’t enough (01:26:25) Are they finally rowing in the same direction? (01:35:17) Where are they now? Monica and Michael’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit. Masterclass | For unlimited access to every class and 15% off an annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit Factor | Get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box at https://factormeals.com/ramit50OFF with code RAMIT50OFF Netsuite | Download the free e-book 'Navigating Global Trade: Three Insights for Leaders' at https://netsuite.com/ramit OpenPhone | Get 20% off your first 6 months at https://openphone.com/ramit Links mentioned in this episode • Get tickets for my next live events—September 14 in Atlanta and September 26 in Los Angeles—at iwt.com/events Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

What do you do if your partner is cheap?

0:03.9

What do you do if you and your partner do not see money the same way at all?

0:09.4

What do you do if you have been fighting about money for a month, a year, or even 20 years?

0:17.9

Whether it's the third date or the 13th year, this September, I'm going to break down

0:22.2

how these tiny questions about money can reveal big clues about how you and your partner

0:28.8

think about money. Join me at Money and Couples Live in Atlanta, September 14th, and I'll be

0:34.9

at Love and Money in Los Angeles, September 26th, with special guest Matthew

0:39.6

Hussie. Reserve your seat at IWT.com slash events. I'm paying literally all of the rent,

0:47.4

all of the utilities for a while I was working these crazy hours. I would be home with the baby

0:51.9

overnight. Like, okay, this is all on me. I will sleep

0:54.6

for myself that I do feel inferior at times. I feel like a leech. You'll probably see Michael

1:00.0

shut down at some point. It's being defensive, protective, and hiding behind the weight of everything

1:05.7

versus being able to ever come up for air. I was like, do I want to marry this person? Am I ready?

1:10.2

Can I trust him? I have no idea how this guy really manages his money. I was like, do I want to marry this person? Am I ready? Can I trust him?

1:11.1

I have no idea how this guy really manages his money. I just feel like I'm always still trying to catch up

1:16.4

to be part of the table and not always feel like I can be at the table. My bigger issue is not paying

1:22.8

anything towards rent and utilities for so long. Is this working for you? No.

1:28.4

Listen to this line from their application.

1:30.9

He feels like a non-partner.

1:33.2

And I'm starting to get resentful about how uneven our finances are for supporting

1:38.3

our household.

1:39.6

Michael works three jobs, yet Monica earns more and she's paying for all the household expenses,

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Ramit Sethi, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Ramit Sethi and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.