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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

220: How to Stay Connected When Teens Pull Away. Guests: Gordon Neufeld, PhD & Gabor Maté, MD

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Kids & Family, Mental Health, Parenting, Health & Fitness

4.8720 Ratings

🗓️ 20 May 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Are you struggling to connect with your teenager in the digital age? Dr. Gabor Maté and Dr. Gordon Neufeld join Reena & Dr. Lisa to reveal groundbreaking insights into parent-child relationships, tech addiction, and the secret to maintaining a strong bond during the challenging teen years. Discover the neuroscience of attachment, the dangers of digital devices, and how to create a warm, supportive environment that helps teens thrive. This episode is a must-listen for any parent feeling lost or frustrated in the parenting journey. We want to hear from you! What's your biggest challenge in connecting with your teenager? Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers: https://neufeldinstitute.org/resources/hold-on-to-your-kids-book/ Learn more about Children & Screens. ________________ “Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting” is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.  Check out our Ask Lisa Podcast Playlists. Binge specific topics like Raising Sons, Staying Connected to Your Teen: https://www.youtube.com/@asklisapodcast/playlists ________________ Episode Keywords: attachment, digital addiction, neuroscience, family relationships, communication, social media, parenting tips, dr gordon neufeld, dr gabor maté, hold on to your kids Show Keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Tell me a parenting issue everyone struggles with, with tweens and teens, but no one talks about.

0:06.9

Rina, I think a lot of people feel like they just don't know how to connect to their kid anymore.

0:12.3

I'm Rina Ninen and welcome to Ask Lisa, the Psychology of Parenting Podcast.

0:18.7

And I'm Dr. Lisa D'Amour.

0:20.3

We bring you science-back strategies for managing anxiety, discipline, intense emotions, and more.

0:26.6

We decode tough parenting challenges with tips that you can use right now.

0:32.0

So subscribe to Ask Lisa, the Psychology of Parenting Podcast, and join our YouTube community today.

0:38.1

We're here to help you untangle family life.

0:43.1

Episode 220, How to Stay Connected when teens pull away.

0:58.9

You know, Lisa, one thing I've heard you say over and over and over again is how much relationships really matter, especially the relationship with your child.

1:03.2

I know we've heard from so many parents over the years who say that their kids start to

1:07.2

withdraw during the teenage years.

1:09.3

And what I'd love about our next two guests is they have

1:12.3

this incredible explanation that I had never heard of before I read their book about why kids

1:18.0

withdraw. It's true. This is, you know, if I think about what do parents struggle with,

1:22.5

especially in adolescence, it's the wish to stay connected to their kids. And I am just

1:26.9

absolutely thrilled that we have two giants in the field with us today

1:31.4

who have broad across work that really shares what we understand from the academic and the

1:37.9

clinical side in all of its richness in a way that is entirely translated for broad audiences

1:43.5

but doesn't dumb it down. And that is

1:46.0

hard to do, and they do that work beautifully. Well, the book we're talking about is called Hold On to

1:51.1

Your Kids. It's a parenting classic by Dr. Gordon Newfield and Dr. Gabor Mate. It's recently been

...

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