218. “Our childcare costs are about to quadruple. Are we screwed?” (Part 2)

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.6 • 3.1K Ratings

🗓️ 22 July 2025

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Last week, we met Dominique (33) and Chris (34)—a couple earning $180K a year, raising a toddler, and still living paycheck to paycheck. Dominique felt alone in managing their finances, while Chris stayed disengaged, assuming things were fine. In Part One, we uncovered the cracks: a lack of communication, zero long-term planning, and growing resentment. Now, as their childcare costs are about to quadruple, will they be able to move past survival mode and start working as a team? Will Chris finally step up—and can Dominique let go of overthinking and accept support? In this episode we uncover: • How their expensive Arizona house became a symbol of both pride and financial strain. • The quiet resentment Dominique feels when Chris is out of work—and why she kept it to herself. • A surprising disconnect around how much they contribute—and who’s really paying more. • Ramit’s reality check about going month to month on a six-figure income. • Why Dominique’s overthinking makes her feel in control—but leaves them stuck in place. • The false sense of security that’s masking a dangerous truth: They have just two months of savings. • The emotional cost of living reactively—and what it will take for them to finally plan ahead. Chapters: (00:00:00) “My friend sold it to me…” — the truth about whole life insurance (00:09:05) Investing, saving… or just surviving? (00:14:58) Problem-oriented vs. solution-oriented (00:22:11) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:26:14) He’s living for his son—but what about himself? (00:38:32) What if selling your house meant losing money? (00:43:13) “I thought I’d be co-parenting by now” (00:52:38) Dominique & Chris 2.0: Confident. Open. Together. (01:03:30) Where are they now? Dominique and Chris’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Rocket Money | Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way at https://rocketmoney.com/ramit DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off. Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist. ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Transcript

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0:00.0	If you and your partner want my help with your finances, listen up.
0:03.7	I'm looking for amazing couples to work with on my podcast in 2025.
0:09.0	So if you have trouble getting on the same financial page as your partner and you feel
0:12.9	stuck, I want to help you.
0:15.3	Please apply at IWT.com slash apply.
0:20.0	If I think I can help, my team will reach out for an interview with you and your partner,
0:24.2	and if it's a good fit, I will invite you to work with me on the podcast,
0:28.4	which is essentially a two or three hour long private coaching conversation,
0:34.3	private with you, me, and millions of people who watch.
0:37.4	I'm only looking for couples
0:38.5	who are serious and people who are ready to do the work. So if that's you, I'd love to see you
0:43.4	apply at IWT.com slash apply. Your child care costs are about to quadruple. Yeah. You're losing
0:50.7	$1,000 to $2,000 a month on your house. What happens if we hang up and nothing changes? If we change nothing, I feel like we lose everything. How much money do you have in your checking account right now? At the moment, in my checking account, I have $64.18. I feel like we're almost like one really big, f*** up away from just losing everything. As much as we're in a relationship, I feel like I'm still kind of just worried about my own money in a sense. I'm going to be really honest with you. You're a guy who makes pretty good money. You don't know much about it. And you're not willing to actually learn. What do you do when your child care costs are about to quadruple, especially when your finances are already tight.
1:29.8	Last week, I spoke to Dominique and Chris, a young couple making $180,000 a year. On paper, that's an
1:36.5	amazing income. But their short-term mindset has them living very, very tightly with their finances.
1:43.0	They bought a second house based purely on vibes.
1:46.3	They didn't run the numbers. And when we talked, they were overwhelmed. They were unsure of what
1:51.1	they could actually afford. That mindset of thinking small was the culprit behind everything,
1:58.0	from their daily spending to their hesitation around investing.
2:01.6	And by the end of that first conversation, they started facing the truth.
2:04.8	The numbers don't add up.
2:06.8	Their finances are driven mostly by emotion, not by math.
	...

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