214 - Friday Fix: 10 Ways to Say No and Stick to It

The Verywell Mind Podcast

Dotdash Media Inc.

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Mental Health, Education

5 • 703 Ratings

🗓️ 11 November 2022

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

There’s a lot of information out there about setting healthy boundaries. But sometimes it’s difficult to get to the first step–saying no. If you’re a people-pleaser or you have a fear of missing out, saying no is difficult. Whether your friends invite you to do something or your boss offers you a new opportunity, it can be hard to find the right words to turn something down. It’s especially uncomfortable to say no to help. But if a colleague offers to help you with something and you’re afraid they’ll slow you down, you might just need to say no to that too. Every time you say yes to something that isn’t in line with your goals or isn’t something you want to do, you ultimately say no to something else. But how do you say, “No thank you,” and then stick to that answer when people try to pressure you to change your mind? Here are 10 phrases that will help you say no and some strategies that can help you stick to your answer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Very Well Mind podcast. We've interviewed over 100 authors, experts, entrepreneurs, athletes, musicians, and others to help you learn strategies to care for your mental health.
0:22.9	This episode is hosted by psychotherapist and bestselling author Amy Morin. Now let's get into the episode.
0:45.7	Okay. You're listening to the Friday fix.
0:52.7	Every Friday, I share a quick mental strength strategy that can help fix the thoughts, feelings, and actions that can hold you back in life.
0:54.9	Today I'm talking about how to say no. And I'm going to give you 10 ways that you can do it and stick to it with actual responses
1:01.0	that you can borrow. But before we dive in and talk about how to say no, let's take a second to
1:06.4	acknowledge why it's so hard to do. One big reason is that we're people pleasers. We want to make other people
1:13.2	happy at the expense of our own duties sometimes. So we might say yes to avoid disappointing someone,
1:19.5	or just because we want to be liked. Another reason is FOMO. We worry that if we say no to something,
1:26.6	we're going to miss out on an amazing
1:28.2	opportunity. Like, what if you said no to an invitation to do something fun with your friends,
1:33.1	and they end up having the time of their lives? Or what if you say no to a business opportunity,
1:39.3	and you never get another chance to do something like that ever again. Finally, our self-worth sometimes depends
1:45.7	on feedback from other people. Even if we don't have time to fit in that extra project the boss wants
1:51.2	us to do, we say yes because we want them to call out how amazing we are for getting it done.
1:57.8	But saying yes to too many things comes at a huge price. It might damage your relationship,
2:04.0	either because you grow resentful of how much you're doing for someone, or because you can't
2:08.7	honor all those commitments that you made and other people get upset with you. Saying yes to too many
2:14.1	things also means that you spread yourself so thin that you'll struggle
2:18.4	to do anything well.
2:20.4	It hurts your mental health, too, when you do too much.
2:23.2	If you're running around feeling stressed out all the time because of all the things that
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