213. Rethinks: Building Trusting Relationships Through Communication

Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

Think Fast Talk Smart

Communicating, Influence, Career Skills, Career, Business, Education, Leadership, Careers, Communication, Career Growth, Public Speaking, Language Learning, Improv

4.7 • 711 Ratings

🗓️ 1 July 2025

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

How to turn doubt and suspicion into hopefulness and trust.

There’s a lot in the world to make us cynical about other people and their motives and intentions. But by “trusting loudly,” Professor Jamil Zaki believes we can renew our faith in one another.

Zaki is a professor of psychology at Stanford, director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience lab, and author of several books, including his most recent, Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness. While many people feel suspicious of others and are reluctant to trust them, Zaki finds that relying on other people is a necessary part of forming relationships.

“Acts of trust are the bedrock on which relationships are formed,” Zaki says. “The only way that strangers become friends and friends become best friends, the only way that we can build partnerships is through a willingness to count on one another.”

In this Rethinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Zaki joins host Matt Abrahams to discuss practical strategies for fostering trust and challenging our cynical assumptions, offering a hopeful perspective on human nature, backed by surprising scientific insights.

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Chapters:

(00:00) - Introduction
(03:26) - Defining Trust and Its Importance
(04:17) - Building Better Trust
(05:48) - Understanding Cynicism
(08:10) - The Cynicism Spectrum
(10:30) - Fostering Hopeful Skepticism
(12:44) - Challenges of Overcoming Cynicism
(14:36) - Positive Gossip and Positive Noticing
(17:34) - Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
(20:30) - The Final Three Questions
(29:16) - Conclusion

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, Matt here. As we start the second half of 2025, I wanted to take a moment to share some things I am super excited about for the show and our Think Fast Talk Smart community. First, we have some amazing influential guests coming up like Dan Harris, Peter Sagal, and Chenaya Boumecay. Second, we've curated several topic-focused playlists like managing speaking anxiety and spontaneous
0:22.8	speaking, among others. Check them out at faster smarter.io slash playlists. Also, you will notice an
0:30.4	additional ad or two in our episodes. We're in the process of expanding our team and building out
0:35.4	our community hub. This requires additional resources.
0:39.1	We truly appreciate your support and look forward to further helping you deepen and broaden
0:44.0	your communication and career skills. Please do follow us, rate and review the show,
0:49.3	and share us with your friends, family, and colleagues. Thank you for listening and for your support.
0:59.3	Without trust, our relationship struggle, our organizations fail, and our societies suffer.
1:06.1	We must actively strengthen bonds and appreciate others even when we disagree and have challenges.
1:12.3	Today we're opening our vault to revisit a prior discussion and learn to foster trust and build
1:17.4	hopeful skepticism. You'll learn useful techniques like how to trust loudly from Stanford
1:23.5	psychology professor and my colleague Jamil Zaki. Enjoy this Think Fast, Talk Smart
1:29.4	Rethinks episode. It doesn't take much to see how cynical we are in the world today. We doubt.
1:37.5	We lack trust. What if we could develop hopeful skepticism where we trust loudly? My name's Matt Abrahams, and I teach strategic
1:47.7	communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Welcome to Think Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast.
1:55.3	Today, I look forward to speaking with Jamil Zaki. Jamil is a professor of psychology at Stanford
2:00.9	and the director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab.
2:04.6	He studies empathy and kindness,
2:07.0	both at the interpersonal and neuroscience level.
2:10.3	He has a new book out that I really enjoyed.
2:13.2	It's called Hope for Cynics,
2:15.5	the surprising science of human goodness.
	...

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