210 – Erotic Transference in Therapy

Counselling Tutor

Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes

Education, Courses

4.6 • 636 Ratings

🗓️ 11 December 2021

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Attending in Counselling - Crying with Your Client In Episode 210 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly discuss this week's three topics: In this episode's 'Counselling Foundations', we look at attending when a client first arrives. Next in 'Focus on Self', Rory and Ken discuss crying with your client. And lastly in 'Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Sally Openshaw on erotic transference in therapy. Attending in Counselling [starts in 1:35 mins] Greeting your client when they first arrive can be a crucial but forgotten step of the counselling process and in this section, Rory and Ken discuss some of the ways you can fulfill this initial interaction and the reasons it can be deemed so important: Making sure your client is comfortable. Human to human interaction, checking in with your client. Normalising the environment in order to create the safest space possible. Active attending - being present. Crying with Your Client [starts in 9:55 mins] Sometimes the material a client brings with them can be emotionally provoking, and being able to deal with this in a professional manner is important. The key points discussed on this topic include: Empathy is natural. Tears express emotion - both the good and the bad. Be aware of where this emotion is coming from - is it empathy or transference? Ask yourself if your tears are for your client or for your own situation. Think about what your tears will say to your client. Recognise the difference between shedding a tear and bursting into tears - be aware of what you can handle, explore this in supervision. Welcome the emotion, but in a professional and informed manner. Erotic Transference in Therapy [starts in 20:37 mins] This week, Rory speaks with Sally Openshaw on erotic transference. The key points outlined in this discussion include: Erotic transference in therapy shouldn't be ignored - you need to know how to manage it. As a therapist, we set up the perfect environment for erotic transference. Learning the importance of your initial reaction and how you can develop this in order to deal with it better. Talk about it in supervision or in peer groups. Links and Resources Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Shop Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Counseling Tutor podcast, the must listen to podcast for students of counselling and psychotherapy.
0:10.6	Here are your hosts, Rory Lee's Oaks and Ken Kelly.
0:15.5	Hi, I'm Rory and with me as always is Ken. How are you doing Ken?
0:20.1	Exceptionally well, delighted and grateful to be here, Rory. And we are delighted and grateful that you've joined us for the counseling tutor podcast. This is episode 210. And we're going to have three stops on our journey today. We're going to start at counselling foundations where we look at the basics
0:38.5	that we build our counselling practice on and in that section we're going to be speaking about
0:43.6	the attending when a client first arrives. Then we're going to go into the focus on self and that's
0:49.4	because we recognise that you are the heart of your practice. We need to look to self first in order to be
0:55.8	there fully for others. And today, we're going to be speaking about showing emotion and more
1:00.7	specifically crying with our clients. What's your thoughts on that? And then, of course, we're going to
1:06.5	be going on to practice matters, which is where we dip our toe into something that we may come across
1:12.3	within the practice, the day-to-day running of our practice and being a counsellor.
1:17.2	And we have Sally Openshaw, who's going to be speaking about erotic transference.
1:22.2	So a mixed bag, I think, today, Rory.
1:25.0	And starting off attending to our listener with the subject of
1:29.0	attending. See what I did there? I did. Yes. Very, very clever, Ken. And I think attending is one of
1:35.9	those skills that is sometimes mentioned, but sometimes isn't given enough focus and importance.
1:42.9	And I've always said, and those who've listened to the podcast
1:45.6	for a long time, will know that I compare the opening of therapy to the opening of theatre,
1:51.9	where, you know, the protagonists come onto the stage, the curtain opens, and there we have it,
1:58.4	the beginnings of that engagement.
2:08.7	And I think that part of that is to make sure that the client is comfortable.
2:15.4	We're starting to build the process of therapeutic engagement.
	...

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