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Counselling Tutor

208 – Relational Depth and Trauma

Counselling Tutor

Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes

Education, Courses

4.6 β€’ 636 Ratings

πŸ—“οΈ 27 November 2021

⏱️ 51 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Importance of Rapport in Counselling - Managing Your Inner Therapist In Episode 208 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly discuss this week's three topics: Today's 'Counselling Foundations' will discuss the importance of rapport in counselling. Next in 'Focus on Self', we'll discuss managing your inner therapist. And finally in 'Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Kate Williams on relational depth and trauma. Importance of Rapport in Counselling [starts in 01:36 mins] Building rapport is how we begin a relationship with our clients, making it an important skill to be aware of when in the therapy room. During this section, Rory and Ken discuss the importance of rapport, and how it can be built with your clients. Showing interest, genuine care, actively listening, and looking through the client's frame of reference you can begin to build up this rapport and trust with your client. Rapport is a foundation-building skill that takes time to develop. We see rapport in sales and customer service - however, this rapport is in an attempt to gain something, not in service of the client. Creates feelings of kinship and belonging. The relationship needs to be able to withstand challenges. Being prepared before your session can help to start building rapport. Silence is a key rapport building skill. Think about rapport in your own life, journal about it, and speak about it in supervision in order to support your own growth. Managing Your Inner Therapist [starts in 19:49 mins] Knowing how to control your inner therapist is an essential skill as a counsellor and in this section, Rory and Ken discuss their own personal experiences with this topic. The key points of this discussion include: The importance of turning off your inner therapist in situations it isn't warranted. Keeping your counselling in the therapy room provides necessary control, control that you don't have in everyday conversations. Only taking on clients professionally is a form of self-care that prevents you from taking on too much. Knowing when to reel back these therapeutic skills that you possess. Think in advance of how you might avoid one of these situations - have an 'escape plan'. Relational Depth and Trauma [starts in 36:24 mins] In this week's 'Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Kate Williams on building relational depth with traumatised clients, and how this may differ from regular clients. The key points discussed In this segment on relational depth and trauma include: Only when a therapist can be at home in their own body, can a client feel that too, and begin to feel safe in their own body - which they can then transfer into their own relationships. Mirroring the client, showing them themselves from a therapist point of view could help them to understand themselves better. It requires consistency over time to be able to build up this relationship. Links and Resources Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Shop Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the counselling tutor podcast. The must listen to podcast for students of counselling and

0:09.0

psychotherapy. Here are your hosts, Rory Lee's Oaks and Ken Kelly. Hi, I'm Rory. I'm with me as always. He's

0:18.4

Ken. How you doing, Ken? Exceptionally well. Thank you for asking Rory. And we are both so delighted that you've joined us for the counselling tutor podcast. You've joined us at episode 208. And today we're looking at three topics, starting with our counselling foundations, where we revisit the importance of the foundations on which we build our counselling

0:38.8

practice.

0:39.7

And today we're going to be speaking about rapport in counselling in counselling foundations.

0:44.6

We then move on to focus in self and that's the area where we recognise that you as the

0:50.6

practitioner are the heart of your practice and we need to look at ourselves and we're going to

0:55.7

be looking at managing your inner therapist today interesting topic and then we end episode 208 by

1:04.1

dipping our toe into practice matters which is our section where we look at something that may

1:09.3

come up in practice, how we can

1:11.2

improve our practice relationships with our clients. And today we have an interview with

1:17.1

Kate Williams speaking about building relational depth with our clients. So there you have it.

1:24.9

So let's start off episode 208. And Rory, we're speaking about something that is so

1:30.8

important. I think the foundation of what counseling is all about. And that's that rapport in counseling.

1:38.4

And I'm thinking back to my very first steps in counseling, learning about counselling and rapport was one of the

1:45.9

first things that we learn about when you kind of start your counselling studies, but I recognise

1:50.7

it's something that goes with you throughout the arc of your practice. Yeah, you're absolutely right,

1:58.0

Ken, spot on. The evidence really is indisputable now that the biggest

2:04.0

part of positive outcomes in therapy is the relationship. You know, it's not the modality.

2:09.7

The modality is about 15%. If you think of it as a pie and you're cutting it into slices,

2:15.1

then, you know, the slice that is the theory or the modality

2:18.8

is about 15%. And a big slice of that pie, I think it's about 25 or 30%, is the relationship.

...

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