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Gender: A Wider Lens

200 - ROGD Boys Exist! with Lydia

Gender: A Wider Lens

Sasha Ayad and Stella O'Malley

Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Mental Health

4.6961 Ratings

🗓️ 10 January 2025

⏱️ 77 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Sasha and Stella welcome mother and advocate, Lydia, to the show for an insightful discussion about the emotional and relational dynamics impacting boys experiencing gender dysphoria. They reflect on the critical work of ROGDBoys.org, a website dedicated to raising awareness and providing vital information about the impact of medical interventions on boys and men with gender identity confusion.

Many families face distinct challenges rooted in the intersection of social expectations, emotional needs, and emerging gender identity beliefs. Boys, unlike their female counterparts, often struggle with expressing vulnerability or gentleness, leading some to seek alternative paths to connection, such as through gender identity beliefs. For many deeply sensitive boys, adopting a female identity offers them access to intimacy and belonging, particularly within female friend groups, where tenderness and acceptance are more easily found.

In this episode, Lydia reflects on her family’s experiences around her son’s ROGD and how her own upbringing in a high-control religious environment shaped her understanding of the complex control tactics at play. She shares insights into the profile of boys drawn to gender identity beliefs, often marked by intelligence, black-and-white thinking, and an affinity for structured systems. Lydia emphasizes the dissonance between scientific reasoning and oversimplified views of gender transformation, revealing how cultural narratives amplify this confusion. She also highlights the nuanced complexities of sexuality and identity, and cautions against reducing AGP to a simplistic conclusion, framing it instead as a complex experience rooted in integration and shame. Finally, she stresses the importance of recognizing the diversity of families affected by gender dysphoria and challenges the misconception that parenting style alone dictates a child’s experiences and outcomes.

For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-200 

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Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching  

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This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe  



This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi, I'm Stella O'Malley, a psychotherapist in Ireland.

0:04.0

And I'm Sasha Ayyad, an adolescent therapist in the United States.

0:08.0

And this is Gender, a Wider Lens, a podcast dedicated to the shifting concepts around gender in our contemporary culture.

0:16.0

Through in-depth interviews, personal stories, and psychological exploration, we seek to open up the discourse

0:22.7

around this hot-button issue. Join us as we look at gender from a wider lens.

0:32.0

Hi, Stella. How's it going, Sasha? How are you? It's going well. It feels like we haven't been here for a while, but this is a good episode, a good one to come back to.

0:43.7

Yeah, it felt like coming home in a way, speaking with the parents. And, you know, this was a really, I thought, a really reflective episode, especially we've been doing this for some years now,

0:59.9

and then speaking to, you know, a parent who's so engaged, who has such a great organisation and who's so thoughtful and reflective, it really feels like we've come of age as a kind of

1:05.3

an understanding of gender dysphoria and, you know, how it impacts parents.

1:09.5

So I thought it was a very kind of mature conversation that was really, really, really brought a lot of

1:16.3

insight.

1:17.6

Yeah, so we talked to Lydia, who runs the website, R-O-GD Boys.org.org.

1:22.6

And she tells us about the kinds of parents in her group.

1:26.8

And remarkably, her son's experience with gender dysphoria started with a quiz.

1:32.7

He took a quiz online based on your personality, traits, and preferences that told him he was 80% girl.

1:39.6

And soon thereafter came to mom and dad with a request.

1:43.4

I need hormones. I'd like to make my body

1:45.6

80% girl. And I think even in that story, which of course is just the beginning of a kind of unfolding

1:51.8

drama in their family, tells you something about the types of boys that fall into this,

1:57.8

which is like they really like rules, they really like to follow systems.

2:02.2

They are checklist kind of kids, very, very intelligent, but have some black and white thinking.

2:10.0

And as you'll hear from Lydia, this becomes a very common profile that they see over and over and over again with parents that join their

...

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