2 - The Dysfunctional Family & the Scapegoat

Adult Child

Andrea

Relationships, Health & Fitness, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.9 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 7 April 2021

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On this week's episode, we are digging in deep on the experience of growing up in a dysfunctional family. Andrea shares her experience of becoming the scapegoat ("identified patient") in her family, and then talks to her friend, Eric, who shares his experience of growing up in an abusive home. We also talk about why speaking our truth is the only path to freedom, but why this doesn't mean blaming your parents.

"It Will Never Happen to Me: Growing Up with Addiction as Youngsters, Adolescents, and Adults" by Claudia Black
"It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle" by Mark Wolynn
"Legacy of the Heart: The Spiritual Advantage of a Painful Childhood" by Wayne Muller

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Shitty childhoods and not playing the blame game.
0:07.0	My name is Andrea and this is Adult Child. child. Welcome to a adult child where we take a deep dive into the impact of growing up in a dysfunctional family.
0:31.0	And today that is especially the case as we are diving deep and this
0:38.9	episode will probably not have as many laughs as there were last week or that there will be in future
0:45.1	episodes to come, but I am confident you are all strong enough to handle it.
0:50.9	Today, we are talking about the experience of growing up in a dysfunctional
0:56.3	family and you will get to hear two different experiences today. I will be
1:01.3	sharing about my childhood and then I will be talking to my friend
1:06.0	Eric. You are in for a treat with Eric. He gets super raw and vulnerable and I even get him to cry at the end.
1:16.1	Tears of joy and healing, I might add, not sad tears.
1:20.7	Regardless, you do not want to miss it. So what is the point in dredging up the
1:26.8	past and rehashing our shitty childhood experiences? The past is the past. It's time to get over that shit and live in the present.
1:38.6	But what if I were to tell you that dredging up the past is the only way an adult child can stop living in the past and live in the present.
1:50.0	You heard me share last week that simply having the realization that my dating issues were somehow connected
1:56.3	to my childhood didn't change a damn thing.
2:00.8	Enter Brian number two and a bunch more pain and insanity and I compare this to
2:05.2	cancer that learning you have cancer doesn't make the cancer go away and
2:11.2	simply acknowledging our childhoods were shitty doesn't result in any healing.
2:18.0	We must identify and understand the faulty programming that resulted from our childhoods.
2:25.0	And with that being said, I want to talk about betrayal,
2:29.0	which is a common resistance that comes up for many adult children as they embark on their healing journey.
2:36.0	Many adult children feel that by acknowledging what happened to them as kids is an act of betrayal to their parents. But that's not what
	...

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