meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
The Mark Groves Podcast

#195: This is How Relationships End with Matthew Fray

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Education, Relationships, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture

4.9 • 5K Ratings

🗓️ 21 March 2022

⏱️ 85 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Themes: Marriage, Relationships, Commitment, Divorce, Trust, Intimacy

 

Summary:

One night during his divorce, Matthew Fray started a blog. He needed to figure out how his ex-wife went from the 18 year old college freshman who adored him to the angry woman who thought he was a jerk and left him. As he pieced together the story of his marriage and its end, Matthew began to realize a hard truth: even though he was a decent guy, he was a bad husband.

As he shared raw, uncomfortable, and darkly humorous first-person stories about the lessons he’d learned from his failed marriage, his post – “She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By the Sink” — was read over four million times. Now, his book, This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships, is set to release this month.

Filtered through the lens of his own surprising, life-changing experience and his years counselling couples, the book exposes the root problem of so many relationships that go wrong to help partners identify and address relationship-killing behaviour patterns in their own lives. I am so excited to have Matt on today to dive into it all!

 

Discover:

  • Why most relationships or marriages come to an end (even if we’re still in love)
  • The subtle ways we erode trust in our relationships
  • Two foundational habits you can focus on to build more trust and intimacy within your relationship
  • What it means to validate your partner

 

Links:

 

Sponsors:

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Mark Rose podcast.

0:12.0

You know, years ago when I came upon the words of the guest today, I was immediately touched

0:20.3

by his words.

0:21.3

I feel like all of the teachers that I've really related to and loved and voraciously

0:29.0

sort of consumed are people who can translate into words, the human experience, like my

0:36.4

experience, making it make sense for me in some way.

0:40.5

And you know, because so much of what we go through is somatic, it's our body being like,

0:45.7

it's feeling a thing.

0:47.4

And then when someone's able to put words to that thing and also give us permission,

0:54.1

that was a big thing for me.

0:56.2

You know, was feeling through someone else's experience and story of triumph over pain,

1:02.7

challenges that we often think are the end when they're really just the beginning, the

1:08.0

beginning of unlayering, the beginning of feeling more witness.

1:14.1

And you know, I remember years ago someone asking me, like, should I stay or should I go?

1:20.8

And I think that's one of those very personal and sort of big questions that the soul asks.

1:27.7

And I think often we have the answer to already, you know, we're sort of seeking for it

1:33.2

not to be what we know to be true or we're seeking to validate something, whatever it

1:37.4

might be, it's your experience, it's mine, it's individual.

1:41.8

And I remember saying to the person, like, whether you stay or go, like, I don't care

1:47.1

what you choose.

1:48.2

Like, I don't care what someone chooses because in regardless of anything in their relationship,

1:55.1

because what you choose is up to you.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Mark Groves, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Mark Groves and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.