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Let me tell you about the worst day of my life.

Or more accurately,

the first worst day of my life

led directly into the second worst day of my life.

The first worst day of my life was the day that I got caught stealing coke

from the evidence locker at work.

I'm not about to tell you exactly where or what my job was

when I reckon most of you can figure that out.

I'm sure some of you out there will be pleased to hear that I was immediately fired and charged.

Then, not so pleased to hear that I managed to get away with nothing but rehab and a suspended sentence.

I paid the price though, and a big way.

My wife became an ex-wife, and with time,

my kid learned to call another man, Dad.

...