186: Should I Marry an Addict?

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Self-improvement, Education

5 • 1.6K Ratings

🗓️ 29 August 2022

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

I get some variation of the question, “How do I know if it's right to marry someone who's an addict?” frequently in either my emails or DMs. And it's a great question! Today Neil and I are going to share our experience of knowing it was right to get married and how we landed on that decision, and how YOU can determine this for yourself as well. If this message resonates with you (or any other episode we've shared) we would love it if you'd leave us a review! And if you know someone who could benefit from this podcast episode or another, please share it with them. Thanks so much for being here. We love and appreciate you. Time Stamps: [00:44] - Here’s the definition of “addict” used in this episode. [03:35] - How did Corrine and Neil’s relationship start? [05:47] - Corrine recalls the Christmas season their relationship broke off. [07:38] - Corrine shares what she thought after Neil told her about his addiction. [09:36] - Neil shares what he thought after telling Corrine about his addiction. [11:04] - What foundational traits matter in a long-term relationship? [13:04] - Corrine had to let go of the “Rescuer” mentality. [16:04] - Don’t chase people off the cliff. [17:49] - Corrine and Neil talk about the “Rescuer” dynamic compared to classic fairy tales. [19:36] - How did Corrine and Neil figure out if they should get married? [22:12] - Everyone is imperfect. [24:29] - Corrine recalls a slip Neil had during their engagement. [26:54] - Corrine warns people to pay attention to spiritual promptings on relationships. [28:33] - Neil talks about the difference between challenges and signs to let go. [31:11] - What did Corrine’s parents think of her relationship with Neil? Has anything changed? [33:55] - Not a perfect marriage, but an incredible marriage. [35:54] - Strengthen your spiritual Wi-Fi. [38:32] - Have the courage to do what God tells you to do. [40:43] - The person experiencing the addiction must be willing to pursue recovery. PART 1 [42:16] - The person experiencing the addiction must be willing to pursue recovery. PART 2 [44:31] - Recovery is a step by step journey. [46:57] - This is a lesson that applies with any marriage. [48:30] - Choosing to walk through life together. Supporting Resources: “I Decided to Marry a Recovering Pornography Addict” Corrine’s article for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. “Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence” Talk by Jeffrey R. Holland Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I get some variation of the question how do I know if it's right to marry someone who's an
0:04.6	addict frequently in either my emails or dams and it's a great question so today Neil and
0:10.5	I are going to share our experience of knowing it was right to get married and how we landed on that decision and how you can determine this for yourself as well.
0:19.0	If this message resonates with you or any other episode we've shared. We would love it if you
0:24.4	would leave us a review and if you know someone who could benefit from this
0:27.4	podcast episode or any other that we've done before please share it with them.
0:31.5	Thank you so much for being here for spending your time with us. We love you and appreciate you so much. I get the question all the time at least once a month if not more should I
0:50.4	marry someone who's an addict?
0:53.0	And people will email me or DM me.
0:55.7	And can you imagine if I had asked that when you and I were dating, what do you think the answer would have been for most people?
1:06.0	Probably no. Yeah, that's the answer my parents gave me.
1:11.0	And that's the answer that a lot of people gave me actually.
1:14.0	But obviously we got married and so we're going to talk about that today and what my
1:20.0	advice is and what Neil's advice is and how to kind of unpack this and make a good decision.
1:27.0	I just want to differentiate to when I say addict, we're talking about truly someone who has an addiction and we heard an absolutely
1:35.1	amazing explanation of this recently in a meeting I think I even I think we shared
1:41.1	it in a podcast episode somewhat recently I can't remember which
1:44.1	episode but it was a leader who came in and said listen as far as pornography
1:48.3	addiction goes there are three categories okay we've got the person who has stumbled upon it and not looked for it,
1:54.8	or they've seen it once or twice. Category one, clearly not an addict.
1:58.8	Category number two, someone who has pulled it up here or there or they've seen it here or there
2:04.4	they're working to try to not look at it anymore but it's not an everyday part of
	...

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