186 - Maybe You Should Talk to Someone - Lori Gottlieb (rebroadcast)

You Are Not So Smart

Science, Psychology, Brain, Business, Mental Health, Culture, Neuroscience, Mind, Health

4.6 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 10 August 2020

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In Lori Gottlieb's new book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, she opens with a quote from James Baldwin that reads, "Nothing is more desirable than to be released from an affliction, but nothing is more frightening than to be divested of a crutch." In this episode, we talk about therapy, how it works, the misconceptions around it, and how people go from resisting change to embracing the behaviors required to alter their own thoughts and feelings when stuck in destructive, unhealthy loops. You'll also learn the difference between idiot compassion and wise compassion. -- Show Notes at: youarenotsosmart.com -- -- Become a patron at: www.patreon.com/youarenotsosmart --Patreon: http://patreon.com/youarenotsosmart

Transcript

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0:00.0	Me. Welcome to the You Are Not So Smart Podcast. episode 186. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And, gee, As a celebration of self-delusion, in an effort to better understand the human condition,
0:52.4	we talk a lot about psychology on this program,
0:55.9	the psychology of reasoning, the psychology of decision-making, the psychology of judgment and
1:01.7	introspection and justification justification and so on.
1:05.0	I like to tell people that you are not so smart is about two ideas.
1:10.0	One, you are unaware of how unaware you are, and two, you are the unreliable narrator in the story of your own life.
1:18.0	And these ideas are both concerned with the fact that we don't often know the true motivations, the true sources of our
1:26.0	thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, but we are compelled to create narratives and to
1:31.8	explain ourselves to ourselves and others as if we do know those things.
1:37.4	And we really believe that we do know those things most of the time.
1:40.4	And so when we spend these narratives, whether or not they're true, they become the stories of our lives.
1:46.0	And those stories tell us who we are.
1:49.0	Usually, when we turn to psychology to better understand all this, we go to the lab, to scientists,
1:55.8	people who are running experiments and exploring and uncovering and creating data and evidence for what's really going on. But for many people, maybe most people,
2:08.0	psychology is something they associate with what happens in a comfortable office,
2:11.9	with couches and plants and nice wall clocks.
2:15.8	Now not everyone goes to see a therapist.
2:18.1	The majority of people don't, but almost half of American adults have seen a therapist at some point in their lives, 42%.
2:27.5	And right now, about 13% of people are and 2 million are boomers. So the stigma is changing, but there is still a stigma around therapy,
2:48.8	around going to see someone about your problems, the things about yourself that you would like to change. I think that when something feels wrong with our body, something feels off with our body,
3:09.0	something feels off with our body, like you're having chest pain, you will probably go to a cardiologist before you have a massive heart
3:15.6	attack. You'll probably get it checked out. But if something feels off emotionally, often what people do
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