182. I Trained My Parents To Love Me
Dear Little Me
Dawn Chitty
4.8 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 11 September 2023
⏱️ 57 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
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In a family already blessed with two daughters, Amy's arrival was accompanied by a strong desire from her traditional Chinese father to have a son, to carry on the family name. This early expectation of being "supposed to be a boy" cast a long shadow over Amy's life. She found herself caught in a confusing dance, trying to fulfil her father's wishes whilst also navigating cultural expectations of being a "good Chinese girl”. As Amy matured, the pressure of conforming to these conflicting "should's" intensified. Her parents held high expectations, and Amy struggled with a growing sense of disconnection from them. Her mother and father never expressed love or physical connection. Determined to break free from the suffocating grip of societal and familial expectations, Amy embarked on a journey of self-discovery. She realised it was time to connect with her parents on a deeper level, to hear their stories, and to teach them how to love her in a way that truly mattered. Amy's story is a testament to the power of resilience and self-empowerment. Join us as we delve into Amy's journey, her quest to reshape her identity, and her profound realisation that sometimes, it's up to us to guide our loved ones toward understanding and love.
Amy is the author of UNFINISHED BUSINESS: Breaking Down The Great Wall Between Adult Children and Immigrant Parents and you can find her coaching offerings HERE
If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at https://www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to bigloveproject@iinet.net.au. I would love to connect with you. Go to my blog howmyparentsraisedme.com
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | My dad being a very, very traditional Chinese father, he said, |
| 0:04.4 | this one has to be the boy. |
| 0:06.8 | It's got to be. I have two daughters. |
| 0:08.6 | I need a son to carry the family name. |
| 0:11.6 | Let's do it. We'll let's have it. |
| 0:13.6 | And then out I gave this little baby girl full of life, |
| 0:17.9 | full of, you know, energy. |
| 0:19.8 | And what was even more confusing for me was on the one hand. |
| 0:23.6 | I'm being told, you should have been a boy. |
| 0:26.4 | You should have carried the family name. |
| 0:28.3 | And so here I am trying to act boyish. |
| 0:31.2 | And then on the other hand, I'm being told, |
| 0:33.7 | oh, but you have to be a good Chinese girl. |
| 0:36.7 | And good Chinese girls are quiet. |
| 0:39.2 | You please other people, you know, you're kind, you're nice. |
| 0:43.0 | You don't play sports. |
| 0:51.2 | Welcome to How My Parents Raised Me. |
| 0:53.3 | I'm Dawn Chitty. |
| 0:54.6 | When we are born, we arrive here as pure and perfect souls. |
| 0:59.7 | And the direction our life takes from that moment |
| 1:02.9 | is deeply connected to what our parents bring to our lives. |
| 1:07.3 | And what our parents bring to our lives is deeply connected |
... |
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