181: The Healing Power of Safe People (Not Just Safe Spaces)

The Best of You

Dr. Alison Cook

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 959 Ratings

🗓️ 23 October 2025

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What do you do when relationships feels risky after you’ve been hurt, betrayed, or let down, yet you still crave real connection? This week, Dr. Alison is joined by speaker, and author Toni Collier, for a powerful and honest conversation about healing through community and learning how to trust again after deep pain. Toni shares her story of betrayal and loss, and how she discovered the power of safe people - the kind who can hold your heart without judgment and help you rebuild when life falls apart. Together, they unpack what real friendship looks like and why isolation, while it feels safe, can slowly destroy us. You’ll walk away with language for repair, courage to take off your “strong friend” cape, and practical wisdom for finding (and becoming) the kind of people who can walk with you through both heartbreak and healing. This episode explores: Why healing requires safe people, not just safe spaces How to build a community that can hold your story The difference between isolation and refuge The courage it takes to say, “I need help” The three steps to finding and keeping trustworthy friends You can find Toni’s powerful book here: 📚Don't Try This Alone: How to Build Deep Community When You Want to Hide from Your Pain Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 104: Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability Episode 76: Finding the Faith & Strength to Move Forward after Loss & Heartache 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Go to shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU and use the code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 50% off. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	What I went through was extremely painful and God has a plan for our pain.
0:05.0	Every single question, feeling, everything that I wanted to process, I called someone.
0:10.0	It was your community that became the holding place for the big emotion.
0:15.0	So I'm going to go to a safe person.
0:17.0	I loved that you highlighted the safe person aspect because I think people are using the phrasing, you know, this is a safe space.
0:24.0	But we don't build safe spaces.
0:25.6	We connect with safe people.
0:27.1	It's not a rupture that ruins a relationship.
0:29.5	It's the lack of repair that does.
0:31.5	That repair is possible.
0:32.7	And it requires humility.
0:33.8	And it requires discernment.
0:35.0	And it requires courage.
0:45.9	Yeah. humility and it requires discernment and it requires courage. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Sometimes we turn to funny places for support.
0:51.7	We find ourselves confiding in a hairdresser or suddenly downloading on our
0:55.1	neighbor at the mailbox. It's helpful to chat with trusted people, but when it comes to real
0:59.6	issues, complicated challenges that we face in our lives, sometimes we need more than casual
1:04.5	advice. We need to talk with someone who is trained to help us, and that's where better help comes in.
1:10.2	Therapy has been such a game changer for me
1:12.3	personally, because I know I'm talking with someone who's actually credentialed and focused on
1:16.9	helping me grow. And with BetterHelp, you don't have to spend weeks hunting for the right fit.
1:21.8	They've been matching people to licensed therapist for over 10 years with a 4.9 rating
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