#176 - How to Not Be a Dick
Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
4.6 • 849 Ratings
🗓️ 16 December 2019
⏱️ 59 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Let's face it: We all have moments. Moments when we feel (justifiably!) angry or frustrated with other people, and moments when we lose our cool.
While everyone is in agreement that there is a time and place for healthy anger, sometimes the lines can get blurred around when you're setting appropriate limits.... and when you're probably being unnecessarily aggressive about making your feelings known.
How do we find that balance? The balance between not being a pushover and having a right to your feelings, but also having compassion for other people? Especially (here's the hard part) other people who may not be behaving well themselves. It's challenging for all of us. (#lifegoals!)
The easy thing to do in the face of conflict is to lash out in anger, push people away, or freeze people out. It's much harder to stay in the ring and find a path of mutual understanding and repair.
On the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I had the great pleasure of speaking with NYC-based psychoanalyst Dr. Mark Borg about this subject, and his insights into how to lead a more compassionate life. Dr. Borg is the author of the book, "Don't Be a Dick: Change Yourself, Change Your World" and he shared thoughtful strategies for how to:
- Gain the authentic self-awareness necessary to catch yourself when you're slipping into unnecessary "dickishness"
- How to handle challenging interpersonal situations with grace and tact
- The mindset that will help you stay compassionate with people who are not behaving well
- Strategies to handle extremely triggering situations with your family around the holidays (without getting sucked into conflict)
- How to use the power of empathy for yourself, and others, in order to make the world a better place
I hope this perspective and advice helps you and the people you love.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby and you're listening to the Love, Happiness, and Success podcast. |
| 0:06.7 | Every day, run me the wrong way, everything you do, just makes you mad, pretty |
| 0:14.3 | hurts me, I've got a problem, drop it about the time. |
| 0:19.7 | That's the wimps. |
| 0:20.6 | The song is called Baggage and they're singing about something that I think That's the wimps. |
| 0:22.5 | The song is called Baggage. |
| 0:31.5 | And they're singing about something that I think we can all relate to, which is the experience of feeling really annoyed with other people. |
| 0:31.9 | Right? |
| 0:33.3 | It happens. |
| 0:33.9 | It happens. |
| 0:35.8 | And we all have our triggers. |
| 0:43.7 | And every single one of us has the capacity to engage with people from the not so best parts of ourselves right and so I thought that today we would |
| 0:54.0 | talk to a really interesting guest who has written a book |
| 0:58.0 | on this exact subject dr mark borg is a psychoanalyst in new york city and he has written a really |
| 1:07.0 | not just funny but wise book called don't Be a Dick. Change yourself, change the world. |
| 1:15.0 | And I thought, what an amazing message for all of us, you know, how to handle people in our |
| 1:21.8 | lives who might be challenging, shall we say, but also how do we all gain the self-awareness around when maybe we are |
| 1:29.5 | not being our best selves and what to do about that? Because as we all know, there is enough |
| 1:35.5 | strife and conflict and bad feelings in the world. So Dr. Bork, I'm so excited to speak with you |
| 1:42.1 | today about your work. Thank you for joining me on the podcast. |
| 1:46.1 | Thank you. I'm very, very happy to be here. Oh, well, I can't wait to talk with you about your book. It sounds |
| 1:52.7 | fascinating. And so maybe we can begin. Why don't you take just a moment to tell our listeners a little bit about yourself, |
... |
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