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The Best of You

172. Daring Joy: Breaking Free from Fear, Cynicism, and Toxic Positivity with Therapist Nicole Zasowski

The Best of You

Dr. Alison Cook

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.9959 Ratings

🗓️ 21 August 2025

⏱️ 52 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Have you ever found yourself afraid to feel joy - worried that if you celebrate, the other shoe will inevitably drop? So many of us quietly hold joy at arm’s length. We tell ourselves it’s safer not to get our hopes up than to risk being let down again. What if joy isn’t a fleeting feeling for the lucky few, but a courageous practice we can all learn? Dr Alison sits down with therapist and author Nicole Zasowski to talk about her journey of choosing joy in the face of loss. Nicole shares how she discovered that joy can be the most vulnerable emotion of all - and why learning to celebrate is one of the most important practices we can cultivate in our lives. Together, you’ll learn: The surprising reason joy can feel harder than grief or disappointment The difference between toxic positivity and true, grounded joy Why pessimism and cynicism are really forms of control Practical ways to retrain your mind to savor what’s good—even in difficult seasons What Scripture and neuroscience teach us about joy 📕 Learn more from Nicole: Check out her book What If It’s Wonderful? And her Daring Joy Bible study workbook for practical steps to cultivate joy. 📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Looking for more? Here are a few favorites: Episode 168: How do I trust God after loss? Episode 74: How to Find Hope in Hard Times 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset. Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get 45% off. Sleep cooler, lounge lighter, and embrace your cozy days with Cozy Earth. Give online therapy a try and see how it can help you become more present, more aware, and more connected to the life you want to live. Visit  BetterHelp.com/BESTOFYOU. Get 50% off a nightguard at checkout when you code BESTOFYOU at shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:22.8

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0:33.1

Hey everyone. I'm Dr. Allison, and I'm so glad you're here to discover what brings out the best of you.

0:42.0

This podcast is all about breaking free from painful patterns, mending the past and discovering our true selves in God.

0:50.0

I can't wait to get started as we learn together how to become the best version of who we are with God's help.

0:59.1

Hey, everyone, and welcome back to this week's episode of The Best of You. I'm so glad you're here with me today for this incredible conversation.

1:08.8

Today's episode is for you if you've ever found yourself holding joy at arm's length.

1:14.1

Maybe you're fearful of trusting that the good in front of you is real, that it's safe to exhale,

1:20.1

or that it might actually last. Maybe you've been through loss, disappointment, or long seasons of waiting.

1:28.5

And even when something good finally happens instead of celebrating, you catch yourself bracing for what might go wrong.

1:36.9

Or maybe you've quietly stopped hoping altogether, telling yourself it's easier not to expect anything good at all to happen than to risk

1:46.2

being let down one more time. Our guest today knows this feeling well. Nicole Zosowski is a licensed

1:53.4

marriage and family therapist. She's a speaker and she's the author of a fantastic book. It's called

1:57.9

What If It's Wonderful? Release your fears, choose joy, and find the courage to celebrate. And she's just released a brand new Bible study. It's called Daring Joy, what six women in the Bible teach us about the power of celebration when it feels risky, complicated, and even impossible. What I love about Nicole's work is that she invites us to see

2:19.8

joy not as a fleeting feeling, but as a courageous, countercultural practice, one that we can

2:27.0

and really must learn how to cultivate no matter our circumstances. Nicole's own journey to joy

2:33.3

began in a season marked by change,

2:36.1

loss, and a performance-based identity. She shares candidly about walking through infertility

2:41.8

and multiple miscarriages and the surprising realization that joy was the most vulnerable

2:47.3

emotion she could feel. Because when you hold something dear, there's always the risk

2:53.5

of losing it. Instead of avoiding that vulnerability, Nicole began to explore what it looks like

2:59.4

to practice joy as a rhythm of life rather than a reaction to circumstances. In today's conversation,

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