171: Why People Pleasing Actually Makes You Feel More Alone, and 3 Steps to Create Real Connection

The Best of You

Dr. Alison Cook

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 959 Ratings

🗓️ 14 August 2025

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Why do we work so hard to earn the approval of others? And what is it really costing us? In this candid, practical episode, Dr. Alison tackles one of the most common struggles she hears from so many of you: people pleasing. You’ll hear powerful voice messages from listeners as she explores the many forms this pattern can take—from avoiding conflict, to saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” to slowly losing sight of who you really are. Together, you’ll learn: 5 common roots of people pleasing How certain Bible verses get misused to reinforce self-erasure The high cost of people pleasing 3 simple steps to move toward wholeness 📥 Pick up your copy of The Best of You—Dr. Alison’s book on this topic here 📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Other episodes you might like : Episode 46: People Pleasing as Survival Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass Episode 14: The Fawn Response 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hey everyone, I'm Dr. Allison, and I'm so glad you're here to discover what brings out the best of you.
0:12.0	This podcast is all about breaking free from painful patterns, mending the past and discovering our true selves in God.
0:20.0	I can't wait to get started as we learn
0:21.8	together how to become the best version of who we are with God's help.
0:29.1	Hi everyone, and welcome back to this week's episode of The Best of You. I'm so glad you're here
0:34.6	today with me. One of my favorite parts of this podcast is getting to hear
0:39.4	directly from you, your questions, your stories, and the honest reflections you share with me
0:45.1	through your emails on social media, through your reviews, or whether I get the opportunity
0:49.4	to meet you in person. And in today's episode, you're going to hear some of your voices woven throughout
0:54.9	our conversation. We're talking about something so many of us wrestle with, and that's people
1:00.6	pleasing, what it looks like, how it shapes our relationships, and how we begin to break free from it
1:06.0	in a way that honors both ourselves and God. Speaking of your voices, I'd love for you to be part of an upcoming
1:13.7	episode where we're exploring comparison and competition within friendships, how it shows up,
1:20.7	how we navigate it, and how we heal from it. If you've got a question, an observation,
1:25.8	or an insight related to how you've dealt with
1:29.1	comparison and competition within friendships, we would love to include your voice.
1:34.2	You can call us at 307-429-2525 and leave us a voicemail.
1:40.1	And we might just use your voice in a future episode.
1:47.0	Now for today's topic, one I know so many of us wrestle with, people pleasing.
1:53.2	This was the top theme that surfaced through the voicemails that you've been leaving me
1:57.6	these past few months. In today's episode, we're going to name what people
2:01.9	pleasing really is, the different ways it shows up, and how we begin to break free, not by
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Dr. Alison Cook, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Dr. Alison Cook and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.